Into the wee small hours of the morning, when sleep was beckoning me I was still feverishly typing away, lab findings, pathophysiology of the diagnoses, and nursing care needed for my patient. All the while trying to understand what it all meant! I was exhausted the next morning from my late night of work of pre-assessment but was still eager to get started for my first day on the transplant floor. I was a nervous wreck at first and was unsure if my nurse’s lack of acknowledgement to me was a tell sign of how the day was going to pan out. Luckily, the nurse that I was following was wonderful and my patient was very compliant. It was a day full of new experiences as I implemented my skills into real patient care and not on mannequins (though I love Mr. Arm and Gretchen Allen) I was able to do my first assessment on my patient, who had just received surgery from a removal of a tumor from the junction of her esophagus and stomach, and administer lots of medications. I was able to give my first IV push and I could tell the patient’s husband when asked about them exactly what I was giving and why. It was very exhilarating but before I get a head of myself this was also a very humbling experience. I learned that I still have so much to learn and to be comfortable with before I can really implement my skills and knowledge as a nurse. As I followed my nurse through out the day I saw her interact with more difficult patients whose needs were not always physically demanding but emotionally. It was not always the patients themselves that were the most difficult but their family members instead were the challenge. I saw how she addressed the patient first since they were her first concern. She rationally explained things to the patients and their family members in a way that was respectful and calm. She did not show her frustration until she left the room but acted sincerely in her interactions with her patients. I also admired my nursing professor who helped me administer the medications. She was able to relate to the patients so easily and make them feel at ease. She helped me understand why I was giving the medications and reemphasized to me the importance of doing the six rights(Right medication, right dose, right route, right time, right patient, and documentation). I feel that I am gaining a better understanding of my skills and I am constantly becoming more comfortable as I am put to the challenge. It is funny how I have been noticing that the things that I fear the most are most often what I end up valuing the most. I think it is because I have to learn how to replace fear with faith. It is in this faith that I learn and eventually gain confidence not only in myself but in my God. It is frustrating at times when I try to really care for my patients and feel limited by my skills. I want to give them my whole self and really care for not only their physical but also psychological needs as well. I want to have a wholistic approach to my care which I feel is lacking right now because I am concentrating on mastering my skills. I was grateful today when I read a verse in Mosiah 4 that reassured me of what I was doing right now is necessary for success later, either that or I am trying to justify my inadequacies. Either way I found it beneficial for what I am trying to do today:
27) And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize; therefore, all things must be done in order.
Post Script: I know there are some of who are grammar savvy. I am in a research class right now where I need to improve upon my grammar skills, especially in regards to commas, semicolons, and dashes. If you feel so inclined to inform of incorrect grammar in my posts, please feel free to inform me. I obviously really need to master the usage of proper grammar, since I am in college and am still lacking!