Saturday, November 19, 2011

Be calm

The semester is coming to a close and they are starting to put up Christmas trees in the library.  We had the season's first snowfall yesterday and it made me extremely joyful to play in the falling snow, but also very contemplative. On what subject do my thoughts linger to... what in the world am I going to be doing with my life come next month?!
Yes I walked in August but I will officially be done with school come December, a few short days away really. I have been searching, scouting, praying, asking, pondering, debating and have written more pros and cons lists than I know what to do with!
In m NCLEX prep class we discussed some of our favorite scriptures (yes only at BYU) we talked about Psalms 31:18 Be still and know that I am God. This has become a mantra of mine when I start to freak out. I know I am learning to trust. I am learning that I need I will be officially cut off from the college life and will be an adult making my own decisions so I better start practicing now! I know that all will work out the way it is suppose to, I just need to act and do my part. I just keep wondering what that is though that I need to do. I have been applying to residency programs, to no avail yet. I am applying to places in Utah, since I am coming back in January. I guess I also need to remember the scripture in 2nd Timothy 1:7 " For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power and of love and of a sound mind" I know I need to be motivated by faith and not fear. It is hard when faced with the unknown. Earlier this week when I was reading in Hebrews 11 seeking for some Faith stamina I read verse 8, which says "By faith Abraham, when he was called to go out into a place which he should after receive for an inheritance, obeyed; and he went out, not knowing whither he went." In other words I need to have faith no matter where I go even if I don't know what is in store for me.
There are just somedays I love Utah (usually when I am no where near I-15) but others where I would love nothing but  to step out into the unknown armed with well ... nothing. I just feel stuck in a way and I want adventure and change, yet I love the life I lead, but I am coming to the realization that it is all about to change. College is really over.  oh what a sad statement that was. I know it won't last long for me because I love learning and want to pursue a masters degree.
I am not sure yet what consensus I will come to, in order to ask that specific question if it is right or not, but I will keep acting. In the meantime I will try and be still, be calm, and remember that He is in control.

"I have no life, because I am studying to save yours"- BYU college of nursing

1 comment:

  1. I love you Whitney Booth and I love reading your "grown up" thoughts. How did this happen? Pleeeeeez make some time for me on christmas break. We need to do lunch or something else fun. :)