Yes I walked in August but I will officially be done with school come December, a few short days away really. I have been searching, scouting, praying, asking, pondering, debating and have written more pros and cons lists than I know what to do with!
In m NCLEX prep class we discussed some of our favorite scriptures (yes only at BYU) we talked about Psalms 31:18 Be still and know that I am God. This has become a mantra of mine when I start to freak out. I know I am learning to trust. I am learning that I need I will be officially cut off from the college life and will be an adult making my own decisions so I better start practicing now! I know that all will work out the way it is suppose to, I just need to act and do my part. I just keep wondering what that is though that I need to do. I have been applying to residency programs, to no avail yet. I am applying to places in Utah, since I am coming back in January. I guess I also need to remember the scripture in 2nd Timothy 1:7 " For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power and of love and of a sound mind" I know I need to be motivated by faith and not fear. It is hard when faced with the unknown. Earlier this week when I was reading in Hebrews 11 seeking for some Faith stamina I read verse 8, which says "By faith Abraham, when he was called to go out into a place which he should after receive for an inheritance, obeyed; and he went out, not knowing whither he went." In other words I need to have faith no matter where I go even if I don't know what is in store for me.
There are just somedays I love Utah (usually when I am no where near I-15) but others where I would love nothing but to step out into the unknown armed with well ... nothing. I just feel stuck in a way and I want adventure and change, yet I love the life I lead, but I am coming to the realization that it is all about to change. College is really over. oh what a sad statement that was. I know it won't last long for me because I love learning and want to pursue a masters degree.
I am not sure yet what consensus I will come to, in order to ask that specific question if it is right or not, but I will keep acting. In the meantime I will try and be still, be calm, and remember that He is in control.
"I have no life, because I am studying to save yours"- BYU college of nursing