Suddenly I see...

Park city dreams

2012-01-26T10:52:00.000-08:00

I went skiing for the first time this past week and absolutely loved it! I went with my nursing friends to the Canyons resort up in Park City. It was so beautiful up there and I felt as if I had left Utah completely to enter another world. It had just snowed and continued to snow through out the day we were there, so we had some good fresh powder, which I learned makes a big difference! I fell down ok wiped out quite a bit, but then my friend Jocilyn ( who always manages to get me out of my comfort zone) taught me how to turn and stop. By the end I was really getting the hang of it and loving every second of it! It was so fun to go with those girls and the people at the resort were really helpful. It was fun to step into what seemed the elite world of skiers and snowboarders. Seriously I felt so blessed to be up there and enjoying God's creations in that way. I can't believe sometimes how incredibly lucky I am to have experiences like this in my life! I am getting use to my time off now I guess since I have been doing fun things.

Usually this is an expensive endeavor but I only spent a whopping $20.00 for the day and boy did I get my money's worth. Unfortunately now I have the skiing bug but still no job to support my new obsession!

Bethanie and I conquering the Mountains

In other news no job prospects yet, but I do take the NCLEX on February 2nd so start praying for me that I do well on it and that I don't have to really celebrate Groundhog day that day and retake the test over again ;)

Books and Year in review

2012-01-12T14:45:00.000-08:00

While I was at home enjoying the beauty and relaxation that Asheville, North Carolina had to offer me, I had some time, ok a lot of time to do things for pleasure. One of those was working on finishing up a project with my friend Darcy. We decided to challenge ourselves in reading a couple of uplifting books. The first book I decided to read was "Who moved my Cheese?" by Spencer Johnson. It is a book about facing the challenges of change and learning to change with events in our life. (The cheese is what we want and when something unexpected happens or change that is when it is moved.) This is something that I have been faced with lately since I graduated from College and I am sure about which direction I should move in and where in the heck am I going to find a job?! Someone has moved my cheese and I have no idea where it is now or how to go about finding it, but this book gave some good insight into those problems.

One of the most powerful lessons I learned from the book was that my challenge in dealing with change was FEAR! But the author writes "What would you do if you weren't afraid?" I have been using this as my mantra when I am hesitant to make a decision . You have to move beyond your fears in order to progress anywhere. It is in this movement that we often find new direction, which hopefully helps you find new cheese or new purposes in life. The author also talks about concentrating on the positive because of change, think of what you will gain instead of what you are losing. It is often in the change that we find better things, so much so that we could not even imagine the blessings we would receive in the end because of it! I am learning to embrace change a little better and move with the cheese. I still don't have a job but I am trusting in the Lord that I am in the right place and doing what I can to prepare for when my cheese might move.

I am also officially signed up to take the NCLEX on February 2nd at 1:00pm so please set your alarm clocks to go off at that time to send some prayers off in my behalf!

Another book that has helped me realize my potential and what I should be doing during this time of limbo was a book I received for Christmas, "Happy Like Jesus" by Kelly D.Ogden. I love the title of this book because it reminds me of a jubilant baptist praising the Lord and the picture cover describes a perfectly joyful moment in history.

I loved reading this book because it describes Christ's life and how we can become like Him. It is a bit of a spin off of President Gordon B. Hinckley's nine Be's. He writes about how we can be like Christ by being:
Happy
Holy
Spiritually Minded
Humble
Knowledgeable
Serviceable
Prayerful
Peaceful
Fruitful
Obedient
Loving
Forgiving
Long-suffering
Persevering
United
Dedicated
Christlike.

I learned a lot about different scriptures from reading this book and also feel that I gained a greater understanding of what Christ was truly trying to teach us through the way He lived his life. A couple things that stuck out to me was when he wrote about being prayerful and how even though Christ was always surrounded by people he always found the time pray. He would be forced to go without food and sleep at times in order to do so, but he made the effort. He taught the importance o prayer to His disciples when he admonished them about praying while he was in gethsemane (Luke 22:46) "Rise and Pray, lest ye enter into temptation" Prayer is a protecting force against sin and helps us commune with our Father to know Him and His will for us.Yet for some reason I fail to follow Christ's example and counsel to do so. I still think at night about how tired I am and I do not always say the most sincere prayers or in the morning I am more apt to listen to my hunger pains than I am the spirit, which will actually give me the best start to my day. Christ went without to maintain His relationship with Heavenly Father and I know I need to do the same.

Another point that stuck out to me was when the author wrote about the mantra of "I AM THIRD!" This means putting God first, Others Second, and ourselves third in life.

The main point of this book though is hope in Christ and how he has overcome the world and we can be happy if we choose to follow Him and be like Jesus.

Year in review- 2011 started out challenging but proved to have blessings in disguise and amidst any trial I faced.

Was able to see and spend time with family this year

I went on 30 different airplane flights this year in order to see family, for work and to have some amazing world travels to Tonga, fiji, Australia and Mexico!

TONGA

ONE OF MANY FLIGHTS

BIRTHDAY IN FIJI

FIJI

SYDNEY

MEXICO

I worked my last year of efy and loved it as always! I was able to work as a health counselor in VA, MA & NY

I graduated from Brigham Young University with a Bachelor's of Science degree in nursing and had a great last semester.

Did the dirty dash with my fairy nursing friends

Was able to support the cougars at several games!

My nursing team won the intramural championship in flag football. Just proves that you never know what you can do until you try it.

Still living with my fabulous roomies Sarah and Darcy!

Ask a Nurse at the homeless shelter where I did community last semester.

And found someone who doesn't mind getting messy with my spontaneous desires to have food fights.

Had a great Christmas and New years with my parents and friends.

All in all it was an incredible year, in which I learned a lot. I am looking forward to what 2012 will bring and hope it is one of my best years yet!

Be calm

2011-11-19T15:57:00.001-08:00

The semester is coming to a close and they are starting to put up Christmas trees in the library. We had the season's first snowfall yesterday and it made me extremely joyful to play in the falling snow, but also very contemplative. On what subject do my thoughts linger to... what in the world am I going to be doing with my life come next month?!
Yes I walked in August but I will officially be done with school come December, a few short days away really. I have been searching, scouting, praying, asking, pondering, debating and have written more pros and cons lists than I know what to do with!
In m NCLEX prep class we discussed some of our favorite scriptures (yes only at BYU) we talked about Psalms 31:18 Be still and know that I am God. This has become a mantra of mine when I start to freak out. I know I am learning to trust. I am learning that I need I will be officially cut off from the college life and will be an adult making my own decisions so I better start practicing now! I know that all will work out the way it is suppose to, I just need to act and do my part. I just keep wondering what that is though that I need to do. I have been applying to residency programs, to no avail yet. I am applying to places in Utah, since I am coming back in January. I guess I also need to remember the scripture in 2nd Timothy 1:7 " For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power and of love and of a sound mind" I know I need to be motivated by faith and not fear. It is hard when faced with the unknown. Earlier this week when I was reading in Hebrews 11 seeking for some Faith stamina I read verse 8, which says "By faith Abraham, when he was called to go out into a place which he should after receive for an inheritance, obeyed; and he went out, not knowing whither he went." In other words I need to have faith no matter where I go even if I don't know what is in store for me.
There are just somedays I love Utah (usually when I am no where near I-15) but others where I would love nothing but to step out into the unknown armed with well ... nothing. I just feel stuck in a way and I want adventure and change, yet I love the life I lead, but I am coming to the realization that it is all about to change. College is really over. oh what a sad statement that was. I know it won't last long for me because I love learning and want to pursue a masters degree.
I am not sure yet what consensus I will come to, in order to ask that specific question if it is right or not, but I will keep acting. In the meantime I will try and be still, be calm, and remember that He is in control.

"I have no life, because I am studying to save yours"- BYU college of nursing

Come to the Mountain of the Lord (Isaiah 2:3)

2011-09-12T16:22:00.000-07:00

I have a new calling in my ward, which is Relief Society teacher! I am really excited about this calling because I love teaching and RS is not as intimidating as Sunday School for some reason to me. This past Sunday I team taught with another girl in my ward about the temple and family history.

The Orlando temple I went last year.

Provo Temple

The temple as described in the bible dictionary is "literally a house of the Lord, a holy sanctuary in which sacred ceremonies and ordinances of the gospel are performed by and for the living and also in behalf of the dead. ( 1Peter 4:6; 1 Cor 15:29) A place where the Lord may come, it is the most holy of any place on the earth. Only the home can compare with the temple in sacredness." I thought the last statement to be extremely poignant that our homes could even but actually are comparable to these beautiful buildings. I believe it is because of what we learn in both can help us become the people God has intended us to be in reaching our full potential to be like Him.
In the true to the faith it teaches us also that the purpose of all that we do in the church is to "point us to the Savior and the work we do in holy temples." I know that when I have the temple as my focus or goal in life it helps me keep my covenants I have already made and gives me an eternal perspective on life. I thought it was interesting how even the temple grounds can symbolize Christ and help lead us to Him. There is usually some form of water or trees on the grounds. To me the water represents Christ (John 4:14) and the trees are the ordinances that we perform to be like Him and return to His presence. I think both are summed up together in the verse from 1NE 11:25. It all really just represents the Love of God and His mercy.

Rexburg, ID where my friend Ann was married this summer.

I love what President Monson said about temples in his last talk, "temples are more than stone and mortar. They are filled with faith and fasting. They are built of trials and testimonies. they are sanctified by sacrifice and service." I believe that all of those things helped build temples but also what keeps them operating today.

Bountiful, UT temple where my friend Ashley was married in August.

I also love what he said about blessings of going to the temple, "... we will be more able to bear every trial and to overcome each temptation. In this sanctuary we will find peace; we will be renewed and fortified." Now that is power from on high!

This summer was packed with blessings. One off those special blessings was going to different temples all over the world. I had the opportunity to go to the temple in Tonga, D.C., and Palmyra. Each place offered the same blessings of peace and genuine love felt from my Heavenly Father, but expressed through different experiences. In Tonga I was blessed with the beautiful singing of the Tongan members within the temple. Their love of the gospel and others was evident in the spirit their singing brought into the room. It was one of such pure love for the people of Tonga and the group of nursing girls I went with as well.

In D.C. I was able to sit for a long time in quietness as we waited for more people to come. I was so excited to go to this temple because this is where my parents were married and sealed! I finally was able to go into the baptistry this time!

Kristen, Hollie, Karl, and me at the temple. (the bus pulled up right before we took our picture of course!)

DC temple with my friend Hollie

I also went to the Palmyra, NY temple The whole inside of the temple has stain glass windows depicting images of the sacred grove and you feel the sacredness of both places because of the presence of the Lord found in each. There is also a large window directly facing the Sacred Grove in the temple. This temple trip was particularly special to me because it included some of my closest friends. They sacrificed the opportunity to do a session to come do baptisms instead, which meant a lot to me. It was incredible to be able to serve with these people all summer and then to do so in the temple was such a joyous experience. It truly was one of those perfect moments filled with pure friendship! I will never forget it!

What connects all these temple experiences for me all over the world and for the past year that I have attended the temple I have always been given Hungarian names. I lived in Hungary for three and a half years so I was always excited to get names from there. When I started noticing a pattern I began to wonder why? It may be because temples all over the world were working on Hungarian names for the past year, but I believe there are no spiritual coincidences. When I was in Palmyra some of the counselors had been in the temple all week doing work and had never once received a Hungarian name till I came. Either way I know and feel of the love that Heavenly Father has for me each time, which is such a blessing to me.

One night we were there for a devotional on the temple grounds. The temple President told us to lock the temple gate when we were done. Needless to say we were really excited to be the only ones on temple grounds and to be able to lock the temple gate! It was a unique experience!

Jason, Karl, and Dax our priesthood holders that the temple workers thought were youth.

Palmyra temple grounds.

View of the temple from the where the sacred grove is.

Beautiful Sara and Jenna on our rainy temple day.

Part of the B.C. team that went to the temple that day.

Some of my besties!

Which state does it hurt in now? VA to Ma to NY!

2011-08-03T07:57:00.000-07:00

Efy life has taken over and what seems to have been a couple weeks feels like the months have passed since I last update on the happenings of the invincible health counselors. At least it feels that way and we are livin' on a prayer daily to stay awake on the little amounts of sleep we have gotten over the past six weeks. We are on our way to palmyra new York for our last week of the summer! We have been in seven different states lately ad we just finished a week in Amherst, massachusetts.

Audrey, Sean, Ariel, and Melanee

Besties

SO it rained really hard one day and Kristen fell and then rolled in the mud a bit (was a hard day) I laughed so hard at here, so to make her feel better I asked her if she wanted to give me a hug, knowing full well that I would get a bit muddy too. Not a good combination with a white shirt. Thankfully I didn't get hosed down by the Searles like she did!

Emma helping SVU's new knight in shining armor.

Our last couple of weeks were a bit dull as all the youth did such a good job with the water competition we have weekly. so needless to say we were ready for a little more excitement in umass. Little did we know what we were in for! We had boys vomiting everywhere, broken arms and toes, missing medicine(not the only thing that got lost and never returned either), platelet problems aka lots of blood, dental problems, and lots of interesting emotional issues to deal with. Of course that was only half of what went on that very challenging week! I believe it was the refiners fire (Malachi 3:3)that we had to go through to get to palmyra I hope. There were a lot of miracles that have happened over the past weeks as the youth have realized the love heavenly father has for them and their potential to become as they follow the path that Christ has paved for and is wanting to walk with them. I don't get too many little moments with the youth but I have three that have been such a blessing to me and honor that the Lord would allow me to be a part of.

Flower Fairies!

He loves me, he loves me not...NO he loves me, he loves me, he loves me!!!

I got some dreams in an XXL polo!

The master chef at work

I love you, I love you, I love you!

The new HCs

Secret Service with Kristen and Jason

Kirk and I with some of our boys from Rise with us!

The first one was when I was on one morning taking care of a couple of participants, there was one youth that I thought maybe I should wait for Karl to come help me with, but after a debating in my head on what I should do I felt like I should go see him. After I was done taking care of him a girl came up to me saying she felt nauseous. After talkig to her for a while I discovered she had an eating disorder she was struggling with. I talked with her for a while about it and how she was handling it. I then talked to her about being a mentor and helping someone else cope with their trials and how in turn that might help her. I then share a scripture that has helped me in the past from D&C 121:45 which reads 45 Let thy bowels also be full of charity towards all men, and to the household of faith, and let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God; and the doctrine of the priesthood shall distil upon thy soul as the dews from heaven." I talked about how relying upon Christ and changing our thought processes to a different track can help give us the confidence we need in this life. Later that day was when the excitement for me came as we listened to the session director give a lesson on that very scripture! It was everything she needed to hear and talk about. It was uch a trstobybro me of how the Lord is in our lives an knows rag of us individually. His plan us eternal as He puts all the pieces together for us. I am glad I decided to go see that one youth, which I now recognize was the spirit telling me to do so. I am grateful I thought to share that scripture and that the session directors felt inspired to focus on it that day. Tender mercies all around.

My favorite picture of us.

Me and my gang!

Beatles crossing in UMASS

What week six can do to ya

Crickey!

Our fearless leader- Christian

FSOY standards Dax Man to the rescue

Laura and I on the creepy 11th floor.

Flower fairies unite forces again

This was just Jason's side job he is actually a model

Me and my little brothers, well maybe not in stature. These boys are going to be the best missionaries!

Kate, Rachel and me matchy, matchy!

Palmyra here we come. Our last roadtrip together in Shirley.

Karl's dumbfounding, butt slapping deja vu!

Gotta love that face!

We of course brought all the essentials with us to Palmyra. Gatorade anyone?

Unfortunately I can't remember the other experiences because I started updating this a while ago. I am in palmyra right now well actually the hospital with a participant. New York is beautiful and here is such a sacred spirit and feeling here.

In front of the Palmyra temple. Can you tell how tired I look?

Sara and I trying to stay awake for the Whitmire farm tour.

The sacred Grove

Two heavenly beings and some besties in the back!

Karl, Kristen, Whit, Dax!

How many times have you locked the temple gate?

ONCE!

Roomies!

Walking to the grove early in the morning.

In the sacred grove. A sacred place where Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father appeared to Joseph Smith

With my southeasties! Ashley and Liz

Surprise its your birthday seven weeks later Karl! Since we didn't get to celebrate it the first time together! We will next year, since we will be celebrating our friendiversary, someone's 23rd birthday, and 16 years for me as a member of the church.

What happens when I am defenseless late at night.

HCs really doing their job. Combining physical and spiritual health! ;) Teach, text, testify from the taking it home lesson. He didn't have anything to write except his bandage we had put on him.

Sweet boys and sweet smelling flowers.

The HC squad. Our trusty car Shirely, as I liked to call her.

Road trippers and besties for life!

Finally a picture with Jason, Jason,Jason, ohhhhh!

I was in the sacred grove a lot yesterday, such a peaceful place. I felt unworthy at first to enter into a place where God the father and Jesus Christ had been. My mom reminded me that everyone is welcome and all that have ever asked a question of God before are worthy to enter. I was particularly reminded of this when I had the opportunity to sing a song for a devotional there last night. The song is entitled "He knows me better" it testifies of how he knows each of us and what we are going through. Just as He knew Joseph smith's name as he entered the grove to ask of God which church he should join. I am so thankful to now know of this Place in new York and that it has and always exist as a testimony of the sacred events that happened here in restoring the gospel to the earth. These youth have been amazing this summer as they have taunt mentruths, conquered their fear with faith, and triumph daily through trying circumstances at home or school. They are valiant and are testimonies to me of the power of the atonement in helping people change their lives for the better. So grateful I get to be here and learn with them! I love my job and all the people I work with. Going to miss it so much after this week. Trying not to be too sad about it being over but joyful that it happened!

From nosebleeds to pinkeye

2011-07-06T13:37:00.000-07:00

We are in the middle of week three but just wanted to catch you up on the headaches and nosebleeds that were treated and cured. Supposedly by my super human powers as was demonstrated in a skit about me by the youth! It was a good week, nothing too exciting. Over the weekend I did take a friend to the hospital, which was a first for me. I felt extremely protective of her and now know a little bit of how the family feels especially why those that have a medical background are very nit picky about the care of their loved ones. I do have to say that empathy is obviously not a learned skill by all medical staff.

We started week three already on the forth of July and had fun celebrating "happy birthday America". It started a bit rough when I lost the keys to our rental car. I was I'm panic mode, but with the power of prayer I saw exactly where they were in my mimd's eye. It was truly a miracle, small but I was so thankful and relieved to find them again. I know my Heavenly Father was mindful of me and knew that I really needed help. He is aware of us and shares in our concerns.

So we have had a bit of a pinkeye scare but it has been kept in check in the eye of the storm.:)

Love seeing the old youth that I Have had in years past. I have been able to run I'm the mornings with one of my girls from last year too. So at Efy you get very little sleep and I just fell aslee a couple times while writing this! All for now!

Late night Mexican dinner with Hollie and Karl

Here comes the smolder.

Rubber band wars

Happy Birthday America

Kristen Elise and Whitney May

Stunning Megan

Dinner with a side of cookies and brownies = perfection for Dax

Love comes back!

Red, White, and Blue!

Gluten free food is good too!

Alright, Alright, Alright, HEY! efy Virginia week 1

2011-06-26T21:24:00.000-07:00

I am working efy- especially for youth this summer for seven weeks. It is a camp through the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints that is designed just for the youth. I am working it as a Health counselor this summer, which is different from what I have done the past two years. It is really fun, but definitely a different experience. I miss being a counselor, but being a health counselor has its excitement too!

Believe, Hope , Endure! ~ Theme for 2011

This weeks synopsis consisted of lots of midol, a girl throwing up in our rental car, a dislocated knee cap, and a fire in one of the buildings(no worries just the curtains caught on fire during rehearsal for the variety show from the light bulbs, everyone was fine though). I love being with the youth and seeing their excitement for life and the gospel. I love the team of people I am working with and my co counselor is fantastic! We just have a ton of fun together. We survived week one victoriously! This week I have another responsibility of being over some of the other counselors, hope I can do it!

Kayla and me with some of our youth from my first week ever of working efy.

Kristen and Jason being DJs and flossing of course!

Kirk a fellow past co and partner in crime for embarrassing moments.

Kirk, Kayla, and me rockin the polos!

Stamp in the Passport

2011-06-14T21:24:00.000-07:00

The last couple of days on the main island of Tongatapu were spent playing! We went to the blowholes and other beaches. We also went to the temple again. Oh I have some funny stories about the temple from the first time we went together. I was really excited because I was getting to do family names that I brought, so much so that when I went into the font I slipped on the stairs and jetted into the font! Luckily I had one hand on the rail to help me out a bit. The tongans had a good laugh about that, but not as much as we did when we heard about Jaclyn and Laurie's stories later. So the signs were not in English so they both were a little confused as to which bathroom they were suppose to go into. So they start taking their showers and the government power shuts off at seven every night until the generator kicks in. So poor jaclyn is in the dark in the boys bathroom yelling I am still in here! She finally realizes her mistake when the power comes back on and quickly makes her way to the right one! Luckily there was only one boy doing a lot of names so he hadn't come in yet!

The Temple in Tonga, which was right next to the Liahona school where we were staying.

Me at the blowholes.

Laurie and Sarah at one of the beautiful beaches there, which is hard to find there because most of coast is coral and too rough to go swimming at.

Sione taking in the view. He was our pet turtle on our trip.

toes in the sand

License plate

Last day at the market, tired from all of our bartering. This old guy came up to us and was trying to talk to us about how love and forgiveness is all you need. It was really hard to understand him, but I guess he had a good message to share with us.

We also went to a little island called Pangimotu to do a bit of relaxing on a cloudy day of course.

This was our little home at the Liahona:

Our room.

I had to pull myself up on to my bed every time because there were no stairs to get up on it. It helped me build up some sweet biceps though ;)

Then as our trip came to an end I decided to take 13 of my nursing friends on a trip to Fiji for my birthday! Ok so it was actually a really sad day to be leaving Tonga and our layover was in Fiji, but we still had a blast celebrating in Fiji at the Sheraton, which was a culture shock because it was so ritzy compared to anything we had seen in Tonga. We also had Indian for dinner, which was perfect because that is a family classic for celebrations. So I got two stamps in my passport for my birthday!

Hang out in the pool at the Sheraton

Amy and I at the Hindu temple in downtown Nandi. There is a huge Indian influence in Fiji because of the British rule up until 1970. We hardly met any native Fijians. I was alright with it though because it meant I was able to eat Indian food all the time we were there!

Jaclyn, Shelly, and me at my Indian birthday dinner.

Then begins the adventure of the fearsome five who were left behind in Fiji to fend for themselves at the Bamboo hostel!

Ofa Attu- Love is given

2011-06-14T20:42:00.000-07:00

Vava'u Post #2

We went to the different islands yesterday to do health clinics it was so fun taking blood pressures on the beach! Such a surreal moment and one I will probably never get to do again. We went on this really little boat with the community nurses. And the coolest boatman ever, along with his daughter, probably some of the most hardcore people I have ever met. She definitely peeled a papaya with a machete.

One of the islands we went to in the community hall all of these women were making Ta'ovalas which are traditional clothing pieces worn by the men mostly but also the women, particularly for special occasions. They taught us how to make them too!

We were prepared for whatever came our way ;)

Chillin with Meleami in the front of the boat.

I'm on a boat!

I got my vans on but they look like sneakers!

Doing blood sugars.

We aslo went to our own private beach and had a really fun time with all of the nurses. They are very modest in Tonga and go swimming in their clothes. We also went to this cave where when you jump in the water illuminates! It was such a clear blue you could see clear down to the bottom. I think that the little droppings of the caves residents (aka bats millions of them) might have been the cause of the luminous water!

It has been very eventful lately to a late night delivery where the lady came in at nine cm at 1:00 am but did no delivery until 830 am so we were able to help her labor and wow that was a natural birth for a primip(first time mom). We just fanned her, rubbed her back, helped her breath through contractions and made sure she was as comfortable as possible. We did very little but she would keep on whispering "Thank you God" she attributed us being there because God was blessing her. It was interesting because the Tongans are so tough her cousin was there hitting her telling her to stop crying. Remember she was giving birth naturally right? I definitely have a greater respect for mothers everywhere! The baby was small too only five pounds and was not breathing when he came out so we had to resuscitate him. It was scary but thankfully Shelly was there and knew exactly what we needed to do. He was a beautiful baby boy.

Another lady some of the girls helped with during her labor. She named her daughter Toa BYU after us!

Holding the twins Jacob and Essau, we think they got their names from a joke we made about how they looked like they could be.

We also went kayaking which was beauftiful we saw tons of jelly fish just like in finding Nemo. today we all sang a tongan song for the nurses and all the patients at their prayer meeting they have it was so fun and they even put paanga $(their money) on us too, like we were professional dancers! We also sang come thou font and God be with you till we meet again which gets me every time. It is amazing how in short of a time you can form such strong friendships. It was hard to say goodbye to all of our dear friends we had made at the Ngu hospital there.

Just as a side note. I always wanted to have Fiji water and in Tonga (and eventually Fiji) I guzzled it down like I was so posh only drinking Fiji water every day! Mostly I did not want to get giardia!

Vava'u

2011-06-14T20:11:00.000-07:00

We spent a blissful week in Vava'u and it is by far my favorite in Tonga. It is so beautiful here and since the island is so small you are able to get to know everyone it seems like! We had another health fair here in Vava'u this time the background was even louder than in Tongatapu. Last week it was the Mother's day celebration and then in Vava'u it was the Father's day. Where they had a preacher practically yelling into the microphone. They also had children dancing and singing about the history of Tonga, which was fun to watch. Only because I was doing blood sugars and not trying to listen to blood pressures over the noise like I did last time. I paid my dues!

Rainbow giving us luck to a new start free of giardia!

The Father's day presentation.

We had a really great turn out and discovered some new diabetic patients to be followed up on in the clinic the next week.

We have been in the hospital the past couple of days and I love the nurses here they are so nice and friendly and willing to teach us. Vava'u is so pretty especially with the sunset at night.

We love it too because there are new zealanders that have great restaurants for us to eat at.

everyone at the restaurant intently listening to Shelly give us love advice ;)

Andrea and I keeping it classy!

We were invited to a Tongan feast the past two days which was interesting and the food was actually good there I think because we were on the important people table so they had good food like the huge roast pig! It was with a church so there was a ton of praying and singing.

This video is of the singing at the feast. It really just took your breath away listening to their bellowing voices sing so boisterously and radiate against the walls. It was one of my favorite moments of the trip.

Some of us we not so thrilled about the food.

She was grateful for the ice cream. It was pretty much milk though because it was so hot in there!

Shelly and Camille really got into the celebrating! Sparkling style.

Oh since we were invited by the nurses at the hospital this was our ride to pick us up and bring us to the feast. Never had ridden in an ambulance until that moment.

They are very religious here and pray to gether before they start their shift. they also asked us to sing a song. We sang a child's prayer medley and it was actually very beautiful different from them bnut still pretty. We also taught for a bit in young womens on the spur. Our motto has been hurry up and wait and also where is the stool sample form everyone being sick but we are all feeling better and alive now!!!! We celebrated our first night with everyone feeling better with some delicious pizza. We also have been eating lots of cinnamon rolls, which are the best I have ever had! Don't worry we walk up a very steep hill everyday to the hospital to burn it all off.

My all time favorite bathroom sign.

More funny signs at the airport.

Tongan version of air conditioning- open sliding door.

In the flower taxi.

One of the beaches we went to

The sign for our hotel we were staying at.

Me with one fat piggy, unfortunately I think he was there to help out with the next day's feasting celebrations.

Deina's got skills!

Today we might get to help prepare a body for buriual. I love how generous and friednly everyone is here. I want to be more selfless like them they are so willing to give anything.The Tongan are big people in stature and in their giving hearts.

Eau

2011-06-14T18:56:00.000-07:00

Hello all! Still alive here in Tonga. We had a few scares of people going to the hospital to be rehydrated and to get antibiotics. I was sick for a bit but thankfully I am much better, which was needed because shelly was left back on Tongatapu while I went to Eau with those who were not sick. It is hard being a clinical instructor! The hospital in Eau is very small!

The very small hospital in Eau

There are pigs everywhere in Tonga. These are just some wandering the grounds of the hospital.

I love Eau it is very beautiful here. The plane that we took here was the smallest one I have ever been on and we landed on grass!

We were picked up from the "airport" (basically a small room with a porch) in a blue pick up a truck. It has had a smashed window shield from a coconut hitting it.

The plane we came over on. It is the world's shortest transit- 5 minutes.

Exploring the beach at the Hideaway

The hideaway where we stayed.

Chilling on one of the docks.

Heading to clinical in the blue truck.

We are right on the beach here. We had a health fair slash fireside tonight, which was fun and a bit on the spur of the moment. It was fun because I had a translator, which it has been a long time since I have had that for a speaking assignment. We are going on a hike tomorrow into the national forest here. We saw an 800 year old banyan today it was huge!!!

Me climbing up the banyan tree. I did not get as high as the Tongan guide for sure.

We also went to this cliff, which I forget what it is called in Tongan but in English it means "throw the fruit here". It is called that because of a family that use to live there that had seven children. One day the children were playing outside and the earth crumbled underneath them casting them into the sea and creating a dramatic cliff edge. The parents were very sad that they could not find them so they jumped in the water to see if they could rescue them. When other family members came to visit they threw fruit from the trees that grow there into the ocean. Sure enough two big turtles and seven little turtles came to eat the fruit there. Cute, but strange story.

Deina and Laurie playing games on the way to the cliff.

The picture really does not do it justice at all. It was much larger in person than I was expecting it to be. This natural arch also has a tale behind it. About this god who was very lazy and did not want to work in the garden. His mother told him he had to and so stubbornly he began to till the ground with his hoe. He was so frustrated that he began to cause earthquakes, his mother grabbed the hoe from him and threw it where it landed into this rock. When he went to get it out of the rock he caused this archway to form.

Some of us also were able to go on a hike to the high point of the island. It was a treacherous hike. The grass was really long and lethal to our bare legs. We were pretty scratched up by the end of it and really muddy too. There were some very large spiders we had to avoid as well. Funny thing though none of the spiders are dangerous they all can bring good luck fortunately. I am not sure if I wanted that kind of luck though. We also saw this bird that only lives on this island and nowhere else in the world. It was a type of parrot and was not always the most easy to spot.

The spiders we had to avoid. You cannot see him the best in this picture, but he was gigantic!

The view

Our instructor's husband came along to protect us.

Just a bit of the bumpy ride to our hiking spot. The road was so muddy there were giant pools of water we had drive through. Just a bit of our Eau experience. It was good to get away from Liahona where the sickness was dwelling and gave us some time to recoperate.

Malo e lelei Tonga

2011-05-10T04:02:00.000-07:00

Video of the market place in Tongatapu where we had our health fair.

This was our greeting party in Fiji when we got off the plane. Perfect way to wake up in Fiji I think.

This is where we stayed at the Liahona High School

Shelly our instructor and I enjoying some traditional Tongan food at the Medical Review.

Just hang out with a cat and some Raisin Bran in the American import store

One of the nurses and us at the market

The biggest and most delicious bananas ever!

This is the Fundascope I was talking about where you place it on the mother's belly where you think the back of the baby might be to listen to its heart. I really could hear some of them really well with it, once I got the hang of it.

My nurse Mia from the antenatal clinic.

Sarah, Laurie, Amy at the blowholes.

Ciara and a nursing student figuring out the blood glucose levels. They have a different scale in Tonga than they do in the states. Just divide by 18 :)

A video of the market where we had our health fair.

Shelly trying to wake up the flying foxes (or bats). Will post a video next time of it.

Hello everyone from Tonga! I love it here in this tropical paradise, it feels like home!!! Except for the food is well interesting, but the fruit is amazing. I only have a few minutes but just wanted to let you know a little bit of what is going on. I have been in the hospital for two days one on the surgical unit where I did some crazy dressign cahnges on diabetic patients. They were all infected missing toes and lots of amputees. They are so appreciative though of all the help you give. The reason why so many of their wounds get so bad is because they use traditional tongan medicine of herbs and leaves on their sores and do not come in until they get so severe. I was also in the antenatal unit where I got to do fundal heights (measuring their bellies to see how far along they are), feeling the position of the baby and hearing the heart beat through a metal cone type thing that you put your ear on it was hard but I got the hang of it. The nurses are great here very friendly. Everyone says hello palangi( Which means white person or angel) to us and everyone knows everyone and where they are staying. It is funny they put gold on their teeth for beauty reasons. They also drive on the left side of the road here too. The radio stations are hilarious, and play lots of american music, but they tend to forget the names of the songs requested or that they are playing (Yeah the spanish song by Ricky something).

Period of PURPLE crying

2011-04-20T22:01:00.000-07:00

Earlier in April the National Student Nurse's Association was held in Salt Lake city, which means I still was able to go to it this year even though I am technically on the old board. I love going to the conference because it inspires me to further my career in nursing and it gives me the extra encouragement I need for nursing school. I am still determined to get a master's degree, which would be a Nurse Practitioner and then hopefully a clinical doctorate degree somewhere in the future.

At this conference BYU was able to present another resolution to the house of delegates, that was passed and will now be supported by NSNA. We also presented a poster on it as well. I am in full support of this resolution because it is so important and has the potential to help so many babies in such a simple way.

Celeste proposed the resolution and was our delegate. This was our poster we presented at the conference.

Our resolution was on the period of PURPLE crying. A program developed to inform new parents on the peak of normalcy of crying in their babies from two to five months. It is a program that gives a pamphlet and DVD for them to watch teaching about the different symptoms to recognize in their babies and what to do so they don't get frustrated to protect babies from shaken baby syndrome!
Purple is an acronym to help parents remember the symptoms,

Peak of crying. Your baby may cry more each week. The most at two months, then less at 3-5 months.
Unexpected crying. Crying may come and go and you don't know why.
Resists soothing. Your baby may not stop crying no matter what you try.
Pain like face. Baby's face may look like they are in pain even if they are not.
Long lasting.Crying may last for five hours or all day.
Evening. Your baby may cry more in the afternoon and evening.

When you recognize these symptoms it is suggested that you try to do everything you can to soothe, comfort, feed, change their diaper, etc. if the crying doesn't stop put the baby down in a safe place and walk away to calm down.

Clay in His hands

2011-04-20T20:39:00.000-07:00

This semester I took a ceramics class, which was really fun, but also a lot of work too!

The first picture is of the pinch pot, pods, and rattles I had to make. ( Along with my Blush&Bashful ipod, which helped me survive the long hours I had to put in for the class this semester).

My favorite thing I did this semester was learning throwing or the legit potter's wheel. I was terrible at it at first (still not an expert for sure!) and I had to practice a ton in order to get the hang of it. Unfortunately

after all my hours of practice, the class was ending and had to meet a deadline for getting everything
done. I learned a lot of valuable lessons on that wheel though. Most of them stem from one of my favorite songs based on the scripture from

Isaiah 64:8 " But now, O Lord, thou art our Father; we are the clay and thou art our potter; and we are all the work of thy hand"

I found that at first I needed a lot of instruction and guidance when I first got started. Just like I need Help and guidance.

   I found that it took A LOT of patience to work on even one piece, which often did not even turn out quite right. He is very patient with us. One of the most important and vital steps in starting on the wheel is making sure that the clay is centered. If not everything gets thrown off balance later and you end up with a lopsided piece usually. He has carefully placed us and we are centered on His wheel of focus.

   One small mistake and I would have to some how fix it or start over again. Thankfully clay like our Father in Heaven is very forgiving. Every time I would have to start over again I would have to let the clay rest and dry out a bit, but it would always be more pliable or easier to work with on the wheel. Just like every time we go through a trial and turn to the Lord it can soften us up a bit.

   When you work with clay it is basically ground up dirt and can be very rough on your hands, which means you either get a great exfoliation to make your hands smooth or some abrasions. I definitely received more of the latter, which means my own sweat and blood went into my pieces! Just as Christ bled for us in striving to refine our lives. It amazes me really that I was able to make anything really, but I didn't give up. Neither will He give up on you. Although my pieces were not the most attractive ever I was really proud of my work and I see great value and potential in them. It is so cool how we can create a piece of clay into a masterpiece. That is what He is trying to do with us if we let Him work from a mound of clay up to an elegant vase.

We had to make a reliquary of sorts. I made one to hold the jewelry(mostly rings) that my Grammie gave me. It has the scripture from Proverbs 31 inscribed on the front. This was the scripture my father read and used to describe what kind of a lady she was at her funeral. The tree is to represent family and has her initials along with my Grandad's etched into it. (Which also happen to be my initials too!)

The lid, which was definitely a trial to make it fit!

All of her pretty rings

Collin studying in the ceramics lab with me while I worked. Not the most comfortable place to study, but I appreciated the support & company.

My friend Zach from class and all of our work! We also had to make a weird avatar thing so I made a swan.

Cranial Nerves I through XII intact.

2011-04-20T19:16:00.000-07:00

I just finished up my last officially scheduled clinical this past week in the ICU on the neurological floor. I also finished my last preassessment ever! (just have to finish the post part of it, which is why I am procrastinating and doing this instead). I only have spring term in Tonga and then Fall semester left till I am officially working as a nurse! Crazy, huh? I will be working out my own schedule with my nurse preceptor in a yet to be determined location, but I am hoping ICU.

My ICU Clinical group at Red Robin together.

It has been a wonderful semester, in which I have learned and been able to experience many, many interesting things. I thought I would share just a few through a neurological assessment perspective.

CN I- Olfactory(Smell). There are many strange and usually unpleasant smells in the hospital, but the trick is to somehow become immune or at least not let your patients know it makes you a bit squeamish! It also works to just recognize them for what they. It can often be a clue to gastrointestinal progress. There are times when doctors can even diagnose certain illnesses by ones ability to smell!
More often than not though it is taking in deeply the smells that surround you in order to recognize or conjure fond memories. It is the smell of a summer rain, or freshly washed clothes, the sizzling of bacon, or your winter mittens that conjure up the sensations of life. Although the end of your nose might be over looked, this is an important sense given to man for his joy,
"D&C 59:18Yea, all things which come of the earth, in the season thereof, are made for the benefit and the use of man, both to please the eye and to gladden the heart;

19Yea, for food and for raiment, for taste and for smell, to strengthen the body and to enliven the soul."

CNII- IV, VI- Optic, Occulomotor, Trochlear, Abducens-

All of these nerves help you see all that is around you. since there are four you know it must be important. It is your vision that helps you gain understanding of the world around you. It is that first glance when you walk into a patients room that can tell you so much in your assessment. While this visual interpretation helps me see what is going on with my patients I have learned that it is still my perspective. I need to see what they see. I remember at Primary Children's hospital they had several of the ceiling tiles painted, but nothing really on the walls. I learned that these bright paintings were placed in just the right position for the kids to be able to see them from their perspective of being on their backs being taken from one place in the hospital to the next in their hospital beds. Seeing is not glancing in someone's direction, but the act of looking is what will really help us understand what is going on around us. That may even include taking the extra effort to see what is on the periphery of what patients are going through that may seem minor to us, but it is important to them and that is what matters.

CN V- Trigeminal- Butterfly kisses, tears streaming down, your cheek, sunshine on your face. This nerve helps me remember that close human touch. I always remember this one when I go to visit my first patient I ever had in Art City and how she always kisses my cheek when I see her. It is a simple act of love but I feel it there and in my heart.

CN VII- Facial- Have you ever just felt the goodness of a smile on your face and how it just some how brightens your whole countenance. Try it now and even the fake smile might even make you chuckle a bit :) I have learned the importance of this nerve from a friend who is recently recovering from Bell's Palsy. He handles this trial like a champ... or should I say more like a pirate? He makes his crooked grin into a jovial pirate greeting and always has an optimistic outlook about it. He never seems to be discouraged by it and continues to have a warm, inviting smile.

CN IIX- Vestibulochoclear- Beep...Beep...Beep...Beep. In the hospital I would say Nurses have a very keen sense of distinguishing which beeping IV pump is theirs and not in another patient's room. I have still have yet to master this skilled hearing. What I have learned is to listen to people. I have learned that effective communication really means being willing to listen. It doesn't mean putting in your opinion or viewpoint, but rather empathizing. Obviously I am still working on this, but from listening to people's stories in the community who are suffering from mental illnesses I learned that people really do want to tell their story. They just need someone to listen, someone to understand where they came from and then help them see the potential in themselves. It is not about judging, but accepting and validating what people are experiencing. It doesn't help us or those around us to criticize or demean one another no matter how sugar coated it may sound. It also doesn't matter if our patients are in a coma or not neurological all there they still can hear us! It is their room that we are stepping into, we need to respect them and their space. Positive, uplifting, patient centered communication.
A funny story to go with that is when a fellow nursing student went in a patient's room to give him is sequential compression devices that help squeeze the blood in your legs to prevent from getting clots in them. Anyways they are usually called SCDs for short she accidently said, "I am here to give you your STDs!" Whoops :)

CN IX & XII- Glossopharyngeal and hypoglossal. - Tongue and other apparatuses! Swallow your pride and invite yourself to do a humbling work. Learning the healer's art means serving His children.

2For in many things we ^aoffend all. If any man ^boffend not in^cword, the same is a ^dperfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body.

3Behold, we put bits in the horses’ mouths, that they may obey us; and we turn about their whole body.

4Behold also the ships, which though they be so great, and aredriven of fierce winds, yet are they turned about with a very small helm, whithersoever the ^agovernor listeth.

5Even so the tongue is a little member, and ^aboasteth great things. Behold, how great a ^bmatter a little fire kindleth!

6And the ^atongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell.

7For every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of things in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed of mankind:

8But the ^atongue can no man tame; it is an ^bunruly evil, full of deadly poison.

9Therewith bless we God, even the Father; and therewith ^acursewe men, which are made after the ^bsimilitude of God.

10Out of the same ^amouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be.

- James 3 :2-10

"Angels speak by the power of the Holy Ghost; wherefore, they speak the words of Christ. Wherefore, I said unto you, ^bfeast upon the ^cwords of Christ; for behold, the words of Christ will ^dtell you all things what ye should do."
~ 2Nephi 32:2-3

- We speak nice words when we take the time to reflect upon what it really means to speak uplifting words.

CN X Vagus- Use your gut instinct. If something doesn't seem right, no matter your position have the courage to speak up. It is better to be mistaken for a moment than be wrong with repercussions. This happened a lot in the ER as a volunteer I would have the opportunity to talk to patients for a long periods of time and was able to assess situations such as suicide ideation and a pending heart attack. Although I was just a volunteer I recognized these potential problems and was able to help.
I am also very thankful for the promptings of the spirit that teach me what I should be looking for or what I should do.

CNXI- Accessory- If things don't go quite the way you expected you have to learn from it and shrug it off your shoulders. You just have to realize that you did the best that you could. If the testing center monitor doesn't say "Awesome" next to your score, you get a mean nurse, you squirt yourself with morphine while trying to draw it up, or you blow a vein trying to put an IV in, it is can all be counted as a round of experience thankfully!

I am still alive through the 3 hour lectures, endless tests, ATI, lab pass offs, Sam lab, projects, waking up at 4:30 am, doing preassessments, etc.! I have loved nursing school and all the opportunities I have had while being in the program. I am so thankful God answered numerous fervent prayers and knew what he was doing with His timing. I love the people that are in my semester and it has been a perfect fit. Although I felt that I was losing my mind I am still intact CNI-XII

...For her price is far above Rubies.

2011-03-26T21:02:00.000-07:00

In January my family had the unfortunate event of having my Grammie pass away. It was a difficult time for all of us, but wonderful to be surrounded by family while we honored her life. I was able to speak at the funeral and share about the things I loved most about her.

I am glad I was able to see her this summer

Ellen Crawford Booth- Grammie

How I remember her, love her,

A rock to hold onto, a centering point in my life.

Grandmother, friend, supporter, a jokester, a true Scot.

She was my jewelry expert and supplier. (I also created a box in ceramics class to hold all the beautiful rings she gave. Pictures to follow soon)

The best spaghetti and meatball chef ever (even though she wasn’t a fan).

Pepper on everything. Waking up to the sound of eggs and bacon sizzling and how she knew just how we each liked ours. Fellow lover of butterscotch candies and ice cream. My knitting teacher, creater of decorative snowflakes out of thread (doilies). Lover and expert on birds and helping her make sure they were well fed. My crayola captain. How she would warn us about that darn mulberry tree. The scent of Charlie, she would always wear. Warm strong hugs and love filled kisses.

As she got older the rolling thunder of her Cadillac walker would alert us that Grammie was coming!

But the sound I will remember her most for was her beautiful singing of songs like the Blue Bells if Scotland and the red robin goes bob bobbin along.

She created a loving, cozy home, but was never scared to venture out and was a fellow traveler.

She was my personal historian of the past and what seemed to me the romantic 1940s in New york.

She was the only one who could scold me lovingly and when she told you to do something you never hesitated.

She always remembered me and others on any holiday. She had such a giving nature.

She was someone who would allow you to appreciate things over and over again with the same enthusiasm every time.

She was a lady of grace and always looked the part when she went out, never without her lipstick on. She just had a sparkle about her.

She was an example to me of true love lasting through time.

She was a lady of faith. She was an example of hope and optimism even in the hardest of times. I always hung up the phone uplifted after talking to her. She was always so appreciative and always expressed her gratitude to me for the smallest things. She was my confidant and my inspiration to do well in school. She is the voice in my heart guiding me and letting me know I can do all things because she believes I truly can.

She had a way of getting us together. She was our home. All of these little things added up to one thing that she loved each of us. She did small things but always done with great love.

Year in Review

2011-01-01T16:52:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year and new decade ahead of us too! 2011
In 2010 I had the opportunity to learn many new things, make many new friends, and set out on many new travel adventures! Here is a little review of the blessed events of 2010.

Most Challenging semester- Medical/Surgical.

Fun times with roommates: They come and then boys take them away, but they will forever be a part of me.

The amazing chef and nurse tutor Elizabeth(All qualities in the making of a GREAT mom!)

Round two with Katie Wilk!

#14 BDA(Broken Down Apts/ Beautiful Daughters of the Almighty)

Reunion still crazy as always (Melissa and Katie)

Trying on Wedding dresses with Annie

Mr. and Mrs. Brewer! Old roomies at Annie's wedding

Future roomies of Wellington 6: Sarah and Darcy

Before the adventures began :)

Visits from old roomies; Shalisa and Alexis(who is expecting!)

New summer Roomies whom we had many rockband and other fun times with: Lauren and Desire

Our first time being "roomies" sleeping on top of the roof of Banbridge

Wellington 6 roomies: Sarah and Darcy

Picture time any time

We support each other's sometimes silly endeavors

Most eye opening and Coolest College experience: NSNA convention:

The Crew at the Orlando Ariport

Receiving BYU SNA's award at the convention

Oh yeah we had fun in the Disney parks too!

Most unusual birthday surprises:

Learned God hears our prayers but also has a sense of humor when answering them. I asked that is wouldn't rain on my birthday (which is in MAY!) and I got snow instead.

I also had the privilege of meeting an apostle of the Lord, Elder L.Tom Perry, at my favorite restaurant. (Provo's rockstars)

Explorations of Utah:

Robbers roost where I got a little carried away with my climbing abilities and sprained my ankle!

Our summers hike ended in a winter wonderland at Silver Lake

On top of Squaw peak with Jessie and Justin. Yes just a few short days after I had sprained my ankle.

Getting some Courage: Best summer job ever second round of working efy(especially for youth camp)

With one of my girls!

D&C 18:10 Worth of Souls group

Cease to be

Of course the counselors get away on the weekends to events like Medieval Times!

With Stephanie

Trips to DC. With Katie

Rise with us group

The best people you will ever meet and friends anyone could ask for

efy counselors a special breed

More fun times in DC

Of course my favorite part of the week bustin' a move and the service activity! What better combination could you have!

Also did a week in Massachusetts with some awesome Tangible as WOman!

Most Spontaneous trip and cutest kids: Number one reason to always have your passport with you because you just never know when you will leave the country and go visit family in England!

My nephew Master Joshua

Princess Amberley(She has her own castle!)

They wore me out a bit though

Painting with the kiddos

Sisters!

Luckiest secretary:

The SNA board which I am secretary of

Our float for the homecoming parade. I came up with the theme.

Most thrilling concert: We saw Owl city and John Mayer in concert: Maizy, Art, Katherine

VA Meets UT:

The efy fun never stops! We just can't get enough.

Creative costumes! My roommates and I dressed up for Halloween as Rapunzel (now starring in Tangled!) Tinkerbell, and a Duwop 50s girl!

Most exotic trip South of the border: Went to Mexico with my Roommates and Sarah's family. Had the most relaxing and fun Thanksgiving ever!

Nursing in a festive place: Just finished my pediatric at Primary Children's and obstetrics at UofU clinical rotations. Had fun working with all the Kids and being a witness to the most amazing miracles, birth.

A White Christmas come true:

My parents

My friend April and her husband came to visit!

Snow Pup

Ready, set, MOVE! My sister and her husband moved from NC to NY! Exciting for them but they will be missed in NC.

We'll always be together: Celebrating New years with high school Friends Anne and Taylor

Most Bodacious: That would be Wellington 6 wishing you a very Happy New Year!

Goodbye 2010 you were a fabulous year! Heres to another one in 2011

I have an excellent Father.

2010-11-09T20:10:00.000-08:00

I was trying to find an old document and ran across this one I wrote last semester about leadership. Since my last post was about my Mother I think my Father also is deserving of one as well. I also love this song by Taylor Swift (I know I am cliche and such a typical girl, but what can I say I do!) that expresses how she feels about her Father too.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hq4W68_h6rw

In passing by the BYU service office I saw a sign that read “Leadership- Love in action.” This poignant sign clearly defined what a leadership role should encompass overall. In my life I have been affected by this kind of leadership in numerous ways but one leader has had a particularly profound affect on me, my father.

My dad has always been an example of strong leadership as he has directed our family but it has not been until the past few years that I have been able to see his leadership in action for others outside of our family. He has had the opportunity to serve as a Bishop and now the Stake president. It has been in these callings that I have seen his leadership skills being defined as one that leads through teaching, delegation, and service. My Dad has a way with words and is a very powerful speaker; it is at the pulpit that he is able to most efficiently teach people. However he also teaches by example in his conduct. My Dad is a businessman who has had to travel for work and attended many meetings where temptations could have arisen to make him compromise his standards. My Dad has a strong conviction of honor to his commitments and would never falter from what he knows to be true. He has been an example to me by his dedication and has taught me to devote my best self to all that I do. This is where I have learned and developed my own style of leadership; I try to lead by quiet example in what I do.

My Dad is also able to be an effective leader by allowing others to lead as well. He knows that he could probably do the task in a more timely manner, but he allows others the opportunity to do so. He is effective at delegation because he follows up on the assignments he gives to make sure that they have been accomplished. My dad may sometimes get caught up in the statistics of what is occurring in the stake but he also remembers that he his serving people. He takes time to care for the one and has the best means for people serving at heart. He has had to learn patience and that fixing a problem requires working in conjunction with people, which can be a slow process.

I admire my Dad for his leadership and how he has been able to grow as a leader through his experiences. He knows as a leader what needs to be done and how to make it happen. Whenever he makes a decision he weighs it out carefully and does his research to make sure it is the best decision for all. He is devoted to his called positions of leadership but also he also exhibits discipline to his personal commitments and roles. My dad is an example of love in action through his leadership in my life.

My dad and me at Thomas Jefferson's home. Another great leader.

I believe in Miracles!

2010-09-17T20:59:00.000-07:00

This post is dedicated to my Mother! Thanks for your all your courage and life! <3

Only picture I have of me as a baby that I thought I would include just for kicks! Yes I am the very caucasian looking one! Who also looks a bit like a boy too!

Today I had the honor of witnessing, assisting and celebrating in a newborn's birthday. Yes I was able to help at the bedside and count through contractions with a new mom today. I was in awe at how calm and serene she was about the whole thing and how she courageously pushed through each contraction. It was an incredibly thing to be able to see this little baby start to crown as he descended further with each contraction. I could hardly believe it when his little head started to come out! I was overcome by such joy and overwhelming love for this little guy! It was so amazing that his head was fully out but part of him was still in here and that he was even coming out at all was just incredible! Then his whole self was welcomed into the world as he let out a big healthy cry! I was able to see the umbilical cord and the placenta, it was so cool! He is the cutest little baby ever and a tiny guy too! I was able to put the newborn drops in his eyes and give him his first shot of vitamin K! The parents were so proud and happy, blessed day! I truly did witness a miracle today and will never forget the feeling of knowing yes, God exists!

For my class we also had to write about our birth story. It is not quite as happy unfortunately for my mother as the one I witnessed today, but I found it interesting and thought I would share it!

Tears were streaming down here face, she felt terror, and abandoned as she lie on the hospital bed alone in the stark white, framed hallway. She felt completely alone though she knew of the persistent rhythm of her heart beating in time with another. Both of their hearts were racing to keep up with an allegro agitato tempo as if mandated by a composed piano concerto describing the moment. She felt anxious as her crying stifled her ability to breathe deeply into her already compressed lungs. She was gasping for air fighting through the pain and the fear. A nurse merely passing by stops to ask her why she was crying, “after all you’ve done this three times already!” She managed to rebuttal this statement with a loud sob, “that is why I am crying!” She felt the fear of the moment and anticipated what was to come. The surgery had been scheduled but for some reason had been delayed to later that afternoon, with a change in staff but no change in care. She had felt strong contractions that day and had felt the beginning pains of labor along with the anxiety of her upcoming surgery. It had been neglected to give her anything to calm her nerves and the desired epidural came just prior to surgery.

She lay there in the hallway forcing each distressed breathe into her cramped lungs causing her to hyperventilate, and only worsening her anxious state. There was no comforting hand or a calming word of encouragement. Where was the angel she sought, in the white nurse’s cap surrounded by the halo of the beaming overhead fluorescent lights? Still weeping through her panicked, emotional state she was brought into the operating room with finally a glimmer of hope from a familiar face. He tried to calm her nerves but was put to the task of helping her breathe by suctioning out her air passage ways. Together they struggled through the fear, anxiety, frustration, and nausea. The surgeons in a desire to teach someone in the room the meaning of having a “strong stomach” did so by adequately describing all of her visible organs from her horizontal incision just above her symphysis pubis. He held her hand through it all and fought the desire to leave the room to grab hold of a porcelain god instead.

At last a brief glancing look at the reason for the pain, a baby girl, and then her eyes rested on the now single tracing heart monitor. As she looked up at the monitor through her teary eyes she wondered morbidly, “If I die somebody will notice me then.” She did not have much time to consider the idea as her eyes slowly closed in response to the medication streaming through her veins preparing her for what would come next. Never again would she have to obtain the courage necessary to go through this procedure as the surgeons performed the final cut of her tubal ligation.

On May 24^th, 1988, my Mother heroically went through a cesarean section and gave breath to my life (the same day as her mother's birth). It was a traumatic birth experience for my Mother and she received horrible care. She felt the nurses were very impersonal and unfocused on her care. She was in extreme need of a nurse’s positive feedback and understanding but rather she received court remarks. She also felt that she was uninformed concerning what to expect postoperatively from her tubal ligation and was unfortunately rushed out of the hospital before she was ready, due to new insurance policies.

I was surprised to learn that this was my birth story and also found it as a slightly ironic teaching guide of what not to do. I was in disbelief that my birth was such a terrible experience and in a very dramatic way. Thankfully this was not an indicative event as to what my life would be or to that of my relationship with my Mother. My Mother’s nursing care that she received is the exact opposite of what I am striving to be as a future nurse. My mother does not remember any of the nurses that day from my birth but does from another sibling’s birth because of their kindness. I fear as well that any joy from giving birth was also overshadowed by this painful experience of hers. My birth even now seems to portray the impersonal nature and care of the nurses present. I feel slightly detached from the event of my birth, something I do not wish for my patients. I want them to feel comforted and supported in this sometimes fearful, but what should be a joyful event for them. I hope to be that presence of optimism and encouragement as I enter in as an honored guest of a child’s birth this week, and to help them remember their birth’s as one of pure elation.

Mysterious month of May

2010-06-17T00:16:00.000-07:00

Twenty and two has started and has already brought with it plenty of surprises with it! I started my day off with a beautiful array of a fresh blanket of snow all over Provo. I had to pause and think as I rubbed my tired eyes wondering if some how a birthday wish had landed me in another time in place like in the movie "Big" or "13 going on 30". Yes indeed it was still May 24th 2010 and my prayers had been answered in an unexpected way. For I have never had it rain on my birthday and had prayed that it would not rain as forecasted. I can still say that it has yet to rain on my birthday and can say that I know what it is like to have a winter and spring birthday all in the same day!

The Day eventually warmed up and the correct season came forth. After working with some of my favorite people at Jamba Juice, it was off to celebrate at Mimi's cafe! My favorite restaurant when I am in the mood for some comfort food that is reminiscent of my mother's cooking. I am not only the one who thinks it is a wonderful place for a celebration meal for there was another special guest there that night. Elder L. Tom Perry was also there dining with his family! I was unsure if it would be rude to interrupt and talk to him. Fortunately my brave friend Darcy made the decision for me and we were off to his table to meet him. She asked if he L.Tom Perry to which he replied, "usually" we then proceeded to talk to him and take a picture with him!

I talked to his wife a bit and she also went to BYU's nursing program! He was very gracious and tall! It didn't really hit me until I had sat down to eat that I had just met an apostle of the Lord and that he served in the quorum of the twelve! I had used his most recent talk on Mothers for my Relief Society lesson! What an honor and unexpected birthday surprise! (Needless to say I was really glad I had read my scriptures that morning!) We had a fabulous dinner at Mimi's and just had to keep counting my blessings one by one of each girl surrounding that table! I have many wonderful friends and here are just a few of them that I was happy to share my birthday with,

We of course continued celebrating by having more cupcakes, friends and such at my apartment! Hard to believe that I am 22 though! It was a great birthday and I hope the rest of the year follows suit!

Other adventures of late included two camping/rock climbing trips to robber's roost and Zion's, sleeping on top of roofs, bike rides, tie dying, water kickball, and etc! I love BYU and all the people that make it fun to be here! I am off this friday though to NC to the blessed humidity( no I really do love it!) fireflies, green everywhere, southern hospitality, and FAMILY!

A little Pixie Dust and the magic of nursing!

2010-04-18T22:10:00.001-07:00

Last week I had the opportunity to travel with BYU's nursing program to Florida! How did I become so fortunate you might ask to leave the snowy land of Provo to go to the happiest place on earth- DisneyWorld, for an all expense paid trip? I was recently elected to the student nurses association (SNA) board at BYU as the secretary. I was really interested in becoming more involved in my college experience and trying to make the most of my time in nursing school at BYU. So, I was really excited to say the least, and pleasantly surprised, when I found I was elected. Even more so when I found out I would have the opportunity to travel to Florida to represent BYU!!! It was intense trying to prepare for taking a week off of school, felt like an elite college athlete, but absolutely worth it!

The conference was an annual event put on by the National Student Nurse's Association (NSNA). This year's theme was "Experience the Magic of Nursing" very applicable for the locale. At this conference we were trained on how to be successful in our new positions on our board, taught about different nursing opportunities in breakout sessions, and participated in the house of delegates, to name a few. It was incredible to be exposed to all the different kinds of nursing and how to be involved on a national level in nursing. While we were there we presented a resolution to the house of delegates in hopes of having it passed, which it did, about nurses doing home visits to first time low income mothers. There are already programs that are implementing this action in nursing but having this passed shows that NSNA supports it and it creates increased awareness of it to future nurses of the opportunity to be involved in community health. The conference was mostly interesting, but of course a trip to Orlando, Florida wouldn't be complete without a visit to the local inhabitants of the Magic Kingdom and EPCOT!!!

The gang after arriving in Orlando!

Having some fun in Downtown Disney

Things were a little pricey there than we were use to as poor college students. Never knew how much Disney costed before this trip, thanks Daddy-warbucks for treating me to it all those years!

Looking official at the conference with our advisors. (I hated my outfit that day however!)

Mickey made a special visit!

We were poster presenters! It displayed information about our resolution and how we were making students aware in our chapter of what we were doing. Basically why we are so stellar!

Welcome to EPCOT!

How could this picture not make you smile with all of its ridiculousness! I especially love how we were in China and were able to have a random chinese boy be in our picture!

The pool at the Coronado Springs resort we stayed at, paradise right?

BYU was also recognized as having a STELLAR SNA chapter, that's right we won an award. Our very own president from this past year was elected to the new NSNA board and will help plan next year's event in the booming metropolis in my own backyard Salt Lake City!

Our advisors and the new NSNA board member- Erin accepting our Stellar Chapter award for BYU.

Magic Kingdom, how much better can life get!

I was also able to meet up with my favorite visiting teaching companion ever there!

Ihad a blast with all of the girls at the conference and going to Disneyworld with them, definitely made some great friends. It inspired me to do more with my nursing career and to be involved on a national level now and after a graduate. It made me aware of all the ways I can be involved to make a difference within nursing, for the benefit of my future patients. It made me realize how research can actually be important (despite how much I was frustrated with that class this semester) and can affect a change for good in nursing practice. It also made me want to further my education as much as I can with nursing! That is right I now have a different aim now that I hope to go back to school and obtain a master's degree in nursing! Who knows maybe I will even go for a doctorate degree. It may not happen, but I have the mindset for it now as a very strong possibility. I really would like to do it so that someday I may be able to teach and give back.

It was wonderful to get away but a bit depressing to come back to a snowy day in Provo after sitting by the pool in 85 degree weather, but the I must have packed a little extra sunshine in my bag because today was a beautiful day here. I only have one final left and then I am free for the summer! Just have to memorize every med, what they do, their side effects, and how to safely give them. Think I can do it? YES I can! That was one thing I remember them saying at the conference when talking about furthering your education, that you should do what you think you cannot do! I hope I can achieve the impossible and you can too catch the vision of your dream to make your wishes come true! (yes I caught some Disney magic while I was there)

I also caught the magic of nursing! How thankful I am to be studying this profession and I hope that I will eventually be a capable nurse someday. For those of you wondering exactly what nurses do watch the little video below to get a little glimpse :)

What I've LeaRNed

2010-04-18T22:10:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pPbGgIg0NIY

Attitude of healing

2010-03-27T18:18:00.000-07:00

At times how we view or react to things that happen to us in life are merely a representation of our attitude in life. I believe our attitude can also be a contributing factor in leading us to heal. This past week I was able to interact with patients two patients with very different diagnoses and attitudes about their hospitalizations. One lady was there because she had overdosed on her pain medications, which had subsequently damaged her heart and liver. The other patient was one who suffered from cystic fibrosis and cerebral palsy all her life. Both were very easy to talk to and had legitimate reasons to be discouraged by their health concerns, however one saw her diagnoses as part of her life but was not going to let it stop her from living it to the fullest.

Her attitude was one of enthusiasm and she emitted a genuine air about her. She saw her diagnoses objectively and did not see them as a limiting factor. She was determined to take care of herself but was not opposed to any help as well. She had every reason to complain and be down about life but she decided to do the opposite. It amazed me how resilient she was and how often it is those who have every right to feel down are the ones who seem to bounce back the most. In other patients I have seen with good attitudes about their hospitalization they are able to laugh about things and build relationships with the staff members. I believe that these are important factors in helping our patients heal. Sometimes though we need to be the facilitator of this kind of attitude in order to have them heal in that way.

I hope to have that kind of healing attitude with my patients that I may seem approachable and happy to be living my life. I hope that in return I will not come off as overbearing in doing so but in having a desire to help my patients feel the same way despite their health concerns. Many times it is not overcoming the illness that is the problem but our mental capacity to believe that we truly can heal. I believe this can be a factor when we are trying to be healed spiritually as well. We need to have the mindset that we can heal and see the hope in our everyday lives. Accentuating the positive. I hope in the future to build this kind of healing relationship with my patients. One where I can help them see the good in life and learn how to not only cope but live with their diagnoses. I know in my own life I need to follow the example of this particular patient I had the opportunity to interact with and have a more positive attitude for I know I am truly blessed, including my trials.

Luke 9:11 And the people, when they knew it, followed him: and he received them, and spake unto them of the kingdom of God, and healed them that had need of healing.

They sought to be healed and had the faith that they could be.

In other updates I was recently elected to the Student Nurses Association board at BYU as the secretary! This came as a huge shock to me but I am really excited to be able to serve in this position and be more involved. Also as an added surprise bonus I will be traveling to Florida on the sixth for a nursing conference there and we will get to go to Disney World too! It is all that is getting me through all that I need to have done before I leave! Luckily though I have a new study buddy, someone to walk me home after the long nights at the library, to share lunch with, and who looks really good in uniform:

John & Whit

Where the heart is:

2010-03-05T15:02:00.000-08:00

Some of my classmates and I after having learned how to don gowns and gloves to prepare for sterile technique in the Operating Room.(Top picture)
Part of my clinical group during conference and my professor.( Bottom picture)

I have had interesting conversations of late about nursing income. Honestly I had no idea about any ballpark figure for a salary until this week. It just never was what was most important to me, either that or the spectrum of being a student to actually becoming a nurse seems never ending. As I came to realize the varying but each adequately supplemental it still hasn’t really hit me the price of nursing care. I know I do not fully understand still the money flow and all the necessities of life that it provides for, that scarily enough someday I will have to figure out. But the real value of nursing care comes to me when I am at the hospital seeing it in action (or agonizing over endless pages of reading and telling myself it will all pay off someday, literally).

This past week I had an incredible experience at the hospital. (Which was much needed after m extremely boring day in Cath/Endo lab- where ya know I saw the inside of some one's heart beating, and the inside of someone's intestines) My nurse was really friendly and let me do a lot of things. Including starting two IVs successfully on the first try and that was the first time I had ever done it on a real patient! I also did a PICC (Peripherally Inserted Central Catheter; it is just a really long IV where the tip ends up in the superior vena cava of the heart where medications that need to mix with a lot of blood immediately can be administered) line dressing change, which has to use sterile technique. I also placed my first Foley Catheter (a tube to collect urine out of your bladder). I was also able to report on my patient to the rounding Doctor and teach some patients about some procedures. So it was an eventful, very good day. Ironically enough this was also a hard day. I experienced the difficulties of working with a confused patient and the struggles of communicating. I learned the value of touch and just being there for the patient and also having humor. When I asked my patient who the president of the United States was (not of the Mormon church because we get that a lot with older patients around here in Utah) and he replied by Saying Osama Bin Laden. He was fairly close with the name at least, and he was disorientated. I learned a lot about prioritizing my time by watching my nurse and the importance of double checking. She would always check and recheck things to make sure she had it right. I could tell that she was not just doing it to protect herself but she was concerned for the patient’s well being in the treatments she was giving. She wanted to make sure she was doing things correctly and for the right patient. She had their interests at heart and what would be best for them. The most tender moment I had of the day was when I was placing my second IV in a man who was not very responsive. I was extremely task orientated at the time and helped with the assessment but then I stopped and realized the impact of what was occurring to this man’s health. His wife and daughter were in the room and after they tried to talk to him the daughter started to have tears well up in her eyes. It touched me so deeply and I just felt this overwhelming sense of concern for all of them. I really wanted to run over and give her a hug at that moment as well! I remembered the impact of what it is like to have a loved one in the hospital and not just feeling accustomed to the hospital from working there hospital. It was scary for them and this man’s care took on a new meaning for me. It wasn’t about getting the job done, the pay check at the end of the day and following policy guidelines so you don’t get sued; no, rather it was about real caring and hopes of healing for the patient. It reminded me of the honor I have to step into these patient’s lives and for a brief time really care for their needs.

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

2010-02-24T11:02:00.000-08:00

It is a known fact among family and friends that I am an indecisive person. I easily become overwhelmed by all of the possibilities that I am considering in my head. Even when I do decide I am often still in conflict of whether or not the decisive result of my pros and cons list is the best option. I am not a push over however when given options I can weigh them out and evaluate what I think is best or what I really want to do, though sometimes just to appease the situation I will go along with things. Maybe I am not indecisive I just take time to assess situations and build up the courage to implement my actions. I think in this one paragraph alone, I have proved my inability to settle on a single conclusion. I believe that sometimes there is more than just one option or there are multiple decisions to be made that lead up to what ultimately will be done in one’s life. In other words although we would like to pin point the major decisions as being monumental in our lives there are actually a thousand everyday little decisions that lead up to that pivotal moment. The pivotal decision I would like to discuss is my selection of BYU as my college choice.

As stated earlier there were many decisions that led up to this point in my life. It was the decision to sacrifice those extra minutes of sleep in the morning to try and make it to early morning seminary (emphasis on the try however). It was my dedication to my high school education and desire to learn that influenced my standing GPA that BYU approved. It was the everyday decision to read my scriptures and building my relationship with my Heavenly Father. The last statement includes the most important aspects of my everyday decisions that have helped me decipher what needed to be done in my life. The interesting thing about making the decision to come to BYU was that at first I felt that I had no choice at all. I was unfortunately either wait listed or denied at all the other schools I had so eagerly applied to during my senior year. When I found out I was accepted to BYU I was excited, but had never actually planned on coming. I had a bad taste about BYU from previous family member experiences and had felt that it was not as prestigious of a school as the others I had applied to. I then set about making my pros and cons list and then I prayed about it. Today I am not entirely sure of how I went about receiving an answer but I know I did. It was one of peace; reassurance and everything just seemed to easily fall into place. Once I arrived at BYU I then had the choice to have an attitude adjustment and actually give the university a shot. It was shortly after arriving that I had to make the decision, which this time included a couple hundred options, what was I going to study. For some reason I know now that even though I feared if I really had any choice but to come to BYU, I realize that my selection in what to study was also prompted, but a decision made entirely of my own accord. I know I prepared for BYU in high school and then once I was here the opportunity to apply to the nursing program was why I had come.

Everyday is full of little decisions that help you decide your own destiny in life. It also encompasses realizing the benefits or complexities of all the alternatives. We have the choice to be proactive participants and decipher the options before us or merely just buy the book because of its cover but never really discover what it has inside for us. In my own life I know it takes time and quality consideration to come to a decision. Unfortunately for an indecisive person in a fast paced world I have had to learn quick thinking and to fully rely on trust in the Lord’s hand in things. This does not mean I am a floater in this life, no because I know there are priorities and contingencies to each decision we make. I know we cannot always control the outcomes of our decisions but we have to have courage and trust that in the Lord’s eyes all things will be for our good

D&C 122: 7 And if thou shouldst be cast into the pit or into the hands of mrderes, and the sentence of death passed upon thee; if thou be cast into the deep; if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to hedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good.

Come together right now, over me

2010-02-17T16:07:00.000-08:00

In understanding what is happening to our patients we have to not only see the bigger picture at hand but also all the small details that encompass and make up all that we are seeing. In clinical last week I worked not only with my patient who was experiencing pancreatitis but also a kidney transplant patient. Both patients provided opportunities for me to understand what exactly the pathophysiologies of their conditions were. After trying to understand the lab values by interpreting them and applying them to their present conditions or medications it all started to come together for me. I was prompted or taught by my nurse a lot as she challenged me to explain why things were occurring and why were performing certain treatments to correct them. It was exciting to understand the correlations between treatments and what was happening physiologically to the patients.
These experiences taught me the importance of studying the interactions of medications upon the body’s systems. I learned that with study and evaluation of what is going on in your lab values, they will make sense! I learned the importance of educating our patients’ so that they can adhere to their medication regimen and understand what to avoid if applicable.
I hope to continue to put the puzzle pieces together of what is occurring in my patients. I hope to take the time to really evaluate the systems of the body, what is occurring due to the present condition, and what the medications are doing that I will administer. I am excited that things are starting to fall into place but it also challenges me to learn more so that I can really understand what is happening physiologically to my patients’.

Both are edified.

2010-02-10T11:35:00.001-08:00

In being in an academic setting I often seek knowledge primarily from my professors. In nursing, however knowledge must be shared and taught by all members of the team. This team includes the patient. This past week at clinicals I truly learned the meaning of your patient being the expert and your best source of information. In working with my patient I learned a valuable lesson of how to learn from and teach a patient. My patient was very knowledgeable about her current condition and knew exactly how her care was to be implemented. She was able to teach me about why things were done for her in a certain way and how to properly perform them. It was wonderful o have such a great coach who was patient enough with me to teach me. I then realized that some one along the way had done the same for her. Other nurses who had cared for her continually had provided care and had taught her along the way. These nurses had given care that was rue to nursing standards and had provided the correct teaching as well.
I learned that the patient may be our best resource of information but only if she understands how to care for herself and what her condition entails. My patient was able to teach me correctly because another nurse had taken the time to do so for her.
I hope as a future nurse to be able to take the time and really teach my patients about their conditions. After all it is their health that we are trying to treat. I think that teaching our patients will help empower them and allow them to be their own personal advocates for health. In my nursing career I hope to not only take the time to learn for myself but allow my patients to learn along with me. I hope to achieve this kind of understanding with my patients just as it states in D&C 50:22, “Wherefore, he that preacheth and he that receiveth, understand one another, and both are edified and rejoice together.”

Order, order in the court of life.

2010-02-03T11:14:00.000-08:00

Into the wee small hours of the morning, when sleep was beckoning me I was still feverishly typing away, lab findings, pathophysiology of the diagnoses, and nursing care needed for my patient. All the while trying to understand what it all meant! I was exhausted the next morning from my late night of work of pre-assessment but was still eager to get started for my first day on the transplant floor. I was a nervous wreck at first and was unsure if my nurse’s lack of acknowledgement to me was a tell sign of how the day was going to pan out. Luckily, the nurse that I was following was wonderful and my patient was very compliant. It was a day full of new experiences as I implemented my skills into real patient care and not on mannequins (though I love Mr. Arm and Gretchen Allen) I was able to do my first assessment on my patient, who had just received surgery from a removal of a tumor from the junction of her esophagus and stomach, and administer lots of medications. I was able to give my first IV push and I could tell the patient’s husband when asked about them exactly what I was giving and why. It was very exhilarating but before I get a head of myself this was also a very humbling experience. I learned that I still have so much to learn and to be comfortable with before I can really implement my skills and knowledge as a nurse. As I followed my nurse through out the day I saw her interact with more difficult patients whose needs were not always physically demanding but emotionally. It was not always the patients themselves that were the most difficult but their family members instead were the challenge. I saw how she addressed the patient first since they were her first concern. She rationally explained things to the patients and their family members in a way that was respectful and calm. She did not show her frustration until she left the room but acted sincerely in her interactions with her patients. I also admired my nursing professor who helped me administer the medications. She was able to relate to the patients so easily and make them feel at ease. She helped me understand why I was giving the medications and reemphasized to me the importance of doing the six rights(Right medication, right dose, right route, right time, right patient, and documentation). I feel that I am gaining a better understanding of my skills and I am constantly becoming more comfortable as I am put to the challenge. It is funny how I have been noticing that the things that I fear the most are most often what I end up valuing the most. I think it is because I have to learn how to replace fear with faith. It is in this faith that I learn and eventually gain confidence not only in myself but in my God. It is frustrating at times when I try to really care for my patients and feel limited by my skills. I want to give them my whole self and really care for not only their physical but also psychological needs as well. I want to have a wholistic approach to my care which I feel is lacking right now because I am concentrating on mastering my skills. I was grateful today when I read a verse in Mosiah 4 that reassured me of what I was doing right now is necessary for success later, either that or I am trying to justify my inadequacies. Either way I found it beneficial for what I am trying to do today:
27) And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order for it is not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize; therefore, all things must be done in order.

Post Script: I know there are some of who are grammar savvy. I am in a research class right now where I need to improve upon my grammar skills, especially in regards to commas, semicolons, and dashes. If you feel so inclined to inform of incorrect grammar in my posts, please feel free to inform me. I obviously really need to master the usage of proper grammar, since I am in college and am still lacking!

Right there beside you

2010-01-27T10:38:00.001-08:00

The design, core, and purpose of the OR is to perform surgical procedures in a sterile manner. I had the opportunity again this past week to observe and occasionally participate in these procedures. I was amazed again to see patient after patient be rolled in and out of a room with great care and efficiency by all the staff. What struck me most however, were those of a very gentle demeanor in the OR. They were those who treated the patients with the utmost respect and were able to speak very calmly to them as well. They treated the whole situation seriously and were not distracted by their outside lives but concentrated fully on patient care.

Located slightly on the outskirts of the OR core is the PACU. This is where patients are monitored and cared for as they emerge from the effects of anesthesia. This is where I discovered something about myself as a future nurse. As each patient was rolled in for care I was drawn to them and their status. I was intrigued by how the nurse was going to assess and care for them. I enjoyed talking to them and helping provide for their comfort. I found myself getting excited about their vitals returning to normal levels and them being able to be admitted to their rooms. I discovered that I really do enjoy one on one patient care.

In my experiences in the OR and PACU I discovered different ways to provide patient care. What I truly learned though was about how I want to be more involved in patient care. It is a small acquisition but it has helped me realize, even in the slightest, what direction I would like my nursing career to go.

I hope to treat all my patients with care and concern for their entire body as I witnessed in the OR. I also hope to maintain the same level of a reverence almost to sterility in the procedures I will have to perform, such as placing a catheter. I also hope to treat my patients in a calm, respectful manner and have my central focus be on them while I am at work. In learning more about what kind of nurse I hope to be, I am grateful for this experience to now know that I really do want to be by the patient’s bedside caring for them one on one.

"Snap- SHOTS" of last semester

2010-01-16T17:11:00.000-08:00

Placing a "Bleb" Giving Em an IM injection, she looks a little scared! This is also where I hit this skinny girl's bone! No worries you cannot feel that when it happens to you!

Standing Strong

2010-01-16T16:58:00.000-08:00

8 This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success.

9 Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.

Joshua 1:8-9

I happened upon this scripture as I was preparing for my efy(especially for youth, counselor position) interview since it is this year’s new theme. It struck a very strong chord with me and was what I needed to hear desperately at that time. As I write this post I will tweak its meaning for it to more accurately apply to my nursing life.

Only two weeks down in school and I am drastically behind in my reading. I feel completely lost in my classes as they review over pathology with terms that sound so familiar but fail to fall into congruence of what they all really mean. Part of me feels so overwhelmed, with the 3 chapters of reading for one class, four for another, or two and lots of videos to watch somewhere in between, making the climb of K2 seem not as daunting! In wanting to give up and hopefully survive through the bare minimum, that is where the encouragement of verse number 8 comes in. My book(s) of law are now my very heavy new set of Pharmacology, Medical-surgical, Nursing-research, and so on. Right now nothing I read out of them is quite making sense or sticking but I guess it is not suppose to yet. Eventually I hope after doing my reading I will have success in finally at least understanding what my teacher is talking about in my three hour class on Tuesday. It may sound like I am complaining and maybe I am but then I have my experiences in the hospital where it all comes together and makes sense. It gives reason to all the studying and reminds of what I am really doing, learning the healer’s art.

OR: Operating Room = Real life Grey’s Anatomy

I am not an advocate of that show , although I do watch it on occasion, for one it does not have a single nurse in it and if it did half of the problems they run into would not have happened! I do not watch it for the drama and the incredibly annoying characters but I watch it for its back drop, the OR. So for those of you who watch it you have an idea of where I spent an entire day this past week. This year my clinical are in IMC, Murray UT, which has been so nicely nicknamed the Death Star! Do not be alarmed this is not because of very poor statistical ratings discovered by JAHCO but because this hospital is a monstrosity and very confusing to navigate through!

IMC patient tower, a very small portion of the entire hospital!

A sample OR

In my first day in the OR I was able to follow a patient from preparing for surgery till right up after she would be admitted to the hospital. We will call her Elle Woods for HIPPA purposes. I was not very warmly greeted by my first RN of the day and felt quite uneasy about how the rest of the day might go. I met my patient Elle who was to have an ORIF of her left distal humerus translation being that she had a fracture in her bone above her elbow that needed to be closed by placing plates and screws into her bone. As the RN started to put in the IV in her arm for surgery trying to find her vein and causing great discomfort in Elle! In seeing her pain sympathy struck too strong with me and I thought I was going to pass out right then and there! I thought how in the heck am I going to make it through an entire surgery if I cannot even watch an IV being put in! As embarrassing as it was I sat down until I started to feel more stable and had said about a dozen prayers to get me through the day, since the banana I had eaten at 5:30 was not cutting it!

As we made our way up into the OR we were greeted by our friendly OR circulating RN who flight attendant like directed us into the room. I had never imagined to meet such professional, yet relaxed, intelligent, cool people ever in my life in the OR. Yes these RNs and DR. were listening to 80’s rock while they were doing this surgery and cracking jokes to one another the whole time while still being very focused on the patient. They even asked me about who I was, I could tell that they really care about everyone that comes into their OR. It was amazing to see the care they went into to protect the patient who would not be moving for four hours during the surgery. They made went to great efforts to provide lots of padding everywhere, warmth( because it is absolutely FREEZING in the OR!), and the sterility of the procedure. I was able to move around a lot during the surgery and watch all of it! I was right by the anesthesiologist for a while and was able to watch him intubate her (put a tube down her throat so she could breathe) and could see her vocal chords! The Surgeon was amazing he told me everything he was doing and all the anatomy that went along with it. It was incredible! I even was able to see the fracture in the bone that he was trying to fix! After the surgery I followed Elle into the PACU (Post Anesthesia Care Unit) This is where they monitor patients coming out from anesthesia and start controlling their pain level. Elle was in a ton of pain when she woke up and reasonable so, after just having seen her entire upper arm cut open! The RN there was great in explaining all her monitoring and what meds she was giving to help relief any pain. Unfortunately for Elle nothing was working! So then this other MD came in and preformed a nerve block by finding her nerve with an ultrasound machine(compliments of GE) and then injecting around it to help block the pain radiating down her arm through her nerve plexus. The pain was finally relieved and Elle was able to be admitted to an official room to see her Mom again. By this time it was almost three o’clock and I had yet to eat anything and I successfully had not passed out yet either! I then went to see if I could catch anymore surgeries before I went home. I entered in where they were doing thyroidectomy. The RN there was also amazing and really funny. He made sure I could see everything going on and showed me everything possible of interest and all of it was! I also saw a 10 lbs goiter removed, adrenal glands the size of a football (which are normal the size of a small rubber ball), and how the pathology lab diagnosis different tissues that come to their lab! Overall it was an amazing day. When I came it was dark and when I left this other world(very much like Star Wars where their technology is astounding, and their light sabers are bovies that electrically severe tissue, which smells like burnt hair!) it was dark again but I will never be the same because of it! I have a huge appreciation for what surgeons know and do, orthopedics being my favorite ones so far. I am so thankful for all those who taught me so much on my first day and for how much I was able to see. I was able to stand strong the entire day and knew that God was with me the entire time pulling me through, along with all the patients in the 60 some surgeries that happened that day.

Accomplishments this week

1. Placed a couple of IVs successfully

2. Learned how to start an IV pump

3. Did NOT pass out in the OR despite the empty stomach and quivering nerves!

4. Somehow managed to get the efy position even though I showed up thirty minutes late to my interview because I had the wrong room and I had a dryer sheet stuck to my skirt!

5. Finished Anderson Cooper’s book, very interesting and great perspective on fairly recent historical events.

6. Was fortunate enough to be the confidant of several confidential reports and kept them

7. Learned that you have to park the direction of traffic to avoid a parking ticket :(

Pictures to come soon!

Patience is a Virtue

2010-01-03T17:07:00.000-08:00

Mosiah 3:19 "For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father."

We had a Relief Society lesson on this scripture a couple weeks ago, entitled "Stick it to the natural man!" The challenge from this lesson was to further one of the characteristics mentioned in this scripture. I decided that I needed to work on patience. Obviously, I did need to work on this because it was found to be tested not too much later. I also had the feeling of needing to contact an old friend I kept on putting it off and saying I would do so over the break.

Well my little tale began on a snowy cold morning in SLC airport. Made it there due to a good friend who was willing to drive the distance in exchange for some fudge. I then made it to Dallas, TX airport to wait for my connecting flight to Greenville, SC. It was a long layover so I was prepared to wait but then I found my flight not appearing on the screen, I continued to wait anxiously to see it appear. Alas it appeared on the screen with a flashing red update next to it CANCELED. Of course that happened right after I had told my Mom that there was nothing to worry about me flying in there despite the blizzard that was forming in that area. How was I to know that there would be a massive storm where I live when it never snows there! I even thought this as I was packing and left behind my serious snow Ugg boots. So then after waiting for four hours as my layover and getting my flight changed for the next day into Charlotte, I got my luggage and headed out of the DFW airport to well...no where. Then I made the effort of calling every person I knew from Texas, unfortunately Texas is a pretty big state and even those who were in Texas would have to make a long trek to come rescue me. There was one dear friend that I knew that lived not too far away from the airport. This was the same friend that I wanted to call earlier but neglected to do so. Well unfortunately she was out of state with her family for Christmas, but it was good to talk to her and I am thankful I was finally able to do so. It is funny how God can intervene in our lives to help us achieve things and bless us by having us do it!

Me and my king size bed!

The festive geese at the GSP airport.

Just thought it was a cool shot. What can I say I was bored.

After the disappointment in not being able to see my friend and much phone calling back & forth between my parents and I, we acquired a lovely King size bed at a Fairfield nearby! The patience testing however was not quite complete. I then was dropped off at a restaurant to pick up some much needed sustenance and waited a good hour for my food then another good hour to be picked up again and finally taken back to the hotel. Of course during that time I had left my cell phone in the shuttle that had picked me up and was unable to contact my worried parents. At last though I made it to the hotel. It was a fun, grown-up sort of experience but also strange staying there all by myself. Luckily the next day I was able to switch my flight to Greenville again and flew in no problem. Then I just had to wait another hour or so before my family could come pick me. Thankfully some good friends of ours were kind enough to lend us their four wheel drive so my family could even get out of the driveway to come pick me up. Oh yes there was lots and lots of snow everywhere too, they were not kidding!

Puppy Prints!All the beautiful snow!

All in all what I hope I learned from all this was a bit of patience can go a long way. I learned that sometimes we cannot do anything about our circumstances but to make the most of the opportunity of having to wait, to face the challenge head on. Being impatient does not help get it there any faster, actually slower. No one is perfect, neither is technology or the weather when you want it to be. It was also said in our RS lesson to remember when your patience is being tested how many times someone has had to wait on you to get something done they needed. So remember the next time you are at the grocery store and the line you have chosen(and are now stuck in) is backed up for some reason to be patient. It could be karma or it could be your opportunity to be kind anyways despite the circumstances or the urge to get upset.

Time to relax....

2009-12-03T13:43:00.000-08:00

As you are reading this I want you to breathe in, count slowly up to “4”, as you breathe out, count slowly back down to “1.” Say these numbers quietly to yourself as you breath in and out slowly. Do this several times, until you are ready to continue reading.

I usually picture the inside of Cathedrals when I relax. I know I am strange but hey I have spent a lot of time in peaceful Cathedrals, great places to think. This one by the way is of Sainte Chapelle in Paris, it makes you feel like you are inside a jewelry box.

Today we had a “clinical” so to speak on Nurturing the Nurse. It was fantastic, fun, and very relaxing. I would like to pass on the knowledge I gained from it to you to help you feel a little more at peace and calm in your life. Before we continue take the time to say one positive thing about yourself.

One of the main things we talked about was positive affirmation. How positive thinking can create an element of unexpected joy in our lives. It is the law of attractions in a way. When we look for the positive we suddenly see it everywhere around us. Sort of like how my Dad is very cognitively aware now of Mercedes everywhere on the road because he drives one  When ever you have an negative thought say “cancel, cancel” to yourself and replace it with something positive. A girl in our class talked about when she does this it has be something she believes else it doesn’t seem to help her very much. She talked about how she started out simple by saying, “hey I tied my shoes this morning, I can read that sign, etc.” So start small but start today and start noticing life’s little Mercedes surrounding you. Another aspect of this positive affirmation is believing in yourself, to the point where you can actually achieve a worthy goal. There are some rules that apply to this so 1. You have to want it to happen, believe it , feel it. 2. Write it in the present tense 3. No negatives 4. Put it somewhere you can read it daily and say it to yourself in the mirror if you have to. Here are some of my examples: “I am going to get As on my finals. I am healthy. Fit as a pro athlete. Money flows abundantly unto me.”
Another great thing I loved was how there was a question asked about when has the happiest time in your life been? The girl I was working with said, “ Right now!” I just love how she said that because we should be happy right now, live in the present and find joy in the whole journey!
“Retire to thy bed early, that ye may not be weary; arise early, that your bodies and your minds may be invigorated” D&C 88:124 I definitely do not always follow this counsel, some days are definitely better than others. Here are some top tips my teacher shared to help us get better sleep or sleep at all!
1. The best thing you can do is go to bed at the same time every night!
2. Stop eating at 8:00 pm
3. Allow for a 30 minute wind down period and do low stress activities such as reading.
4. Personal hygiene before bed, follow your routine.
5. Void, which is just a fancy way of saying go pee or wee as they say in other countries!
6. Put on some comfy jammies and dim the lights. This and following a routine helps your mind know it is time to get ready to sleep.
7. Exercise daily but stop before 8:00 pm
8. Avoid caffeine, and nicotine at least 6 hrs before bedtime.
9. Avoid alcohol even if it does make you drowsy in the first few hours it will cause you to be awake later.
10. Keep your bedroom only for sleep, free from clutter, at comfortable temperature, minimize bright lights, and play soft music if that helps.
Just to close everyone needs a little laughter in their life so here is one of my favorite jokes of all time( courtesy of a fellow Jamba employee):

“Why do Mermaids wear sea shells?” (answer at bottom of post)

If you would like more relaxation techniques or tips on sleeping visit the site below. They also have some recordings you can listen to that walk you through certain relaxation techniques:

http://ccc.byu.edu/counseling/skills.ph

Because “B” shells are too small and “D” shells are too big!!!

I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me. Philipians 4:13

2009-11-25T14:17:00.000-08:00

As noted earlier I am a sensitive person and being in nursing school has brought that side out in me even more! I had the opportunity to be touched by something inspiring and heart warming in class again yesterdy. My teacher was talking about caregivers and their roles. She explained how taxing it could be and difficult it is since it is a 24 hr job expressed with constant love. It was pretty disheartening at first especially since we had to discuss elder abuse as well! Then she commented on how rewarding it could be in our lives to truly care and love another person. This is what she shared in her slide and the clip she showed:

A son asked his father, 'Dad, will you take part in a marathon with me?' The father who, despite having a heart condition, says 'Yes'. They went on to complete the marathon together.

Father and son went on to join other marathons, the father always saying 'Yes' to his son's request of going through the race together. One day, the son asked his father, 'Dad, let's join the Ironman together.‘

To which, his father said 'Yes.'

For those who didn't know, Ironman is the toughest triathlon ever. The race encompasses three endurance events of a 2.4 mile (3.86 kilometer) ocean swim, followed by a 112 mile (180.2 kilometer) bike ride, and ending with a 26.2 mile (42.195 kilometer) marathon along the coast of the Big Island Father and son went on to complete the race together.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7P-de-Ejzk

This explains their story a little bit more, another great clip too:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDnrLv6z-mM&feature=related

The human touch...

2009-11-25T13:59:00.000-08:00

Life is like a box of chocolates.

Today I had the opportunity to listen to an amazing woman speak about her time as a caregiver to both her husband and son. Her husband died eleven years ago of Alzheimer’s and her son after being a hemiplegic passed away five years ago. These tragedies have been seen as blessings in disguise as she described her experience as a caregiver. In reading her book I say the undeniable patience, compassion, and gratitude she has in her life. She always seemed to know exactly how to care for her husband although she compared herself to a duck who is really paddling like crazy underneath the surface of an unruffled appearance. She would not get offended by the things her husband would say to her because she was able to separate the person she once knew from his disease. She had such courage to face this crippling disease alone in her marriage and quite frequently people would not believe her that there was anything wrong with her husband. She had some much love for him that she was willing to care for him no matter what and would always put herself in his shoes, how she would want to be treated. She had courage to let him have some autonomy and to let others help her. She was giving of herself 24 hours a day at home but would still have loved to give for others in her service. She saw so many things as blessings in her life and frequently referred back to how they had a wonderful marriage for thirty-four years. She was always thankful for those small moments when he would come back to himself and tell her he loved her. How hard it must have been for her to continually be faced with this trial everyday and when they were still both so young. It was in this critical time that she had to prepare him, her and everyone else for the day when he would “graduate” from this life having accomplished his mission, which she really had to rely on her beliefs. Not only rely on them but really believe in them and know that there was hope beyond this existence. There are so many wonderful things I could say about this woman and her experience but if you want to experience it for yourself go and read her book! It is much like a published blog where she wrote her feelings and experiences of living with “Big Al” It is inspiring in many ways and has lots of uplifting quotes.

What touched me most about her experience was not in what she was saying but how I felt when she was there. She truly has compassion for each person, even strangers and knows the value of each person as a child of God. She played two songs at the end of her speaking to us while she went around and rubbed lotion on our hands. It reminded me of the Savior and how he went around washing the disciple’s feet. It was not only a sign of humility but compassion to reach out and really comfort someone with a simple human touch. I was crying before she even got to me but as she rubbed lotion on my hands I wanted to tell her how thankful I was for her in creating and sharing a wonderful experience with us. I could not utter a word but I think she could tell how I felt as looked me in the eyes and smiled without needing to say anything I could feel her love for me.

I am reminded by this experience to treasure and value what is really important in life, humanity. It is something that connects us all even though we may seem as strangers. We are all really seeking the healer’s touch that is so often found in each other. We can care and love for each other and we must! We need one another. There is so much good to be found in serving and allowing others to help us as well. I challenge all of us to reach out to someone today and every day. Call someone you care about that you have not spoken to in a while. Make amends for life is too short to waste time holding a grudge to be right when there could be so much peace.

Sick and ye visited me...

2009-11-25T13:55:00.000-08:00

This week I felt that I did not practice empathy as much as I did the previous week taking care of my patient. Last week my patient was suffering from C-diff, which meant constant diarrhea. I realized that it must have been embarrassing and frustrating to have this condition. I told him I was sorry that he had to go through this and that I was there to help him. We talked bout how having diarrhea was not a fun experience and how we could make it through it in the best way possible. I also had two other experiences of practicing empathy this week.

In practicing empathy I realized that it was mostly recognizing how the person was feeling, listening to them and validating back to them how they were feeling. There were times when it was appropriate to interject my own feelings but mostly it was about listening. I definitely feel that this builds a trusting relationship. In working with my patient he was very cooperative and was not afraid to ask for help when he needed it. I think empathy truly shows the patient that you are there with them in this experience and not just merely on the sidelines just taking care of the objective parts of their diagnoses and not the whole person.
I hope to take the time and see where people are coming from and how that affects their struggles with their diagnoses. Everyone is different and their experiences are varied, how one person reacts to treatment may be very different from another. It is important to recognize this because some patients may need more human interaction than anything else. I think it also helps put into perspective what you are doing for this patient. For me it was dealing with stinky diarrhea but it really did not bother me as I thought about how I would feel in the situation. I would not want to be going through this and I definitely would not want to be sitting in it either even for a minute! I was also reminded that morning of the Savior and how we should be looking for him in our patients. I feel that this is a different level of empathy in seeing how the Savior would see this person and how when we take care of these people we are really caring for the Savior, " Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me.Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungered, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink? When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee

Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee? And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethern ye have done it unto me" (Matt 25 38-40).

What Stop Signs, X-rays, and achieving the impossible all really mean.

2009-11-25T13:45:00.000-08:00

Well this week had some highlights that affected my way of thinking as a nurse. First of all one should always obey the rules and laws even when it seems inconvenient. I learned this as I was pulled over by a policeman on the way to clinical at 5:30AM for running a stop sign. I felt embarrassed and guilty when this happened and did not particular enjoy feeling that way. I applied this to nursing in the ways we follow all of the six rights. It is important to have follow through on these because you never know when you might mess up and get caught with unpleasant consequences for your patient and you. Thankfully the car full of girls I was carpooling with made this event a memorable one we can all laugh about together. The policeman also knew to chose his battles wisely when giving out tickets to nursing students and let me off with a warning. (Which still took me forever to resolve!) Secondly I learned what it felt like to learn some upsetting health news and dealing with the procedures that might follow. I tested positive for TB and had to have a chest X-ray, my first ever! I was frustrated that this was happening and felt uncomfortable as I donned a gown for the procedure. This helped me remember how a patient can feel uncomfortable lying there exposed to us during their care.

I thoroughly enjoyed Jay's presentation and was amazed by all of her accomplishments despite her disability. As she was talking I began to think about what really defines a disability because for Jay it almost seemed like her disability was only visible aspect of her while her will made up for any physical thing she lacked. I was just amazed at how she persevered through all of her trials. Here I was thinking how hard life was for me as I contemplated the tests, assignments, relationships, work, and other responsibilities I had, feeling completely inadequate. Jay however was up at the front of the room teaching us and telling us of her ability to accomplish a masters degree. I felt as if I really was the disabled one! I could not see the inner strength in myself as she did, nor realize my potential. I became to understand that the only really disability people have is lack of motivation, confidence, and belief in the impossible to be done. There may be physical limitations upon us but the only thing that really limits us is our will power to do something.
This made me realize that I could do so much more with my life and witness the blessings of good health more. It made me see the potential in not only myself but in others around us. In nursing we tend to be helping others who cannot help themselves. This is a wonderful concept and should still be implemented but are we doing too much? I have come to realize that in clinicals I am often waiting on my patient hand and foot and not encouraging their independence. In future care I want to reasonably believe in people's capabilities and encourage a belief in themselves. I have come to realize that this is what nursing is to help people really heal. Just as we need the atonement to be forgiven we also need it to be healed. I should be helping people accomplish the highest quality of health possible in all aspects so that they too may get their master degrees and contribute to the world with their own capabilities. It should be a focus on what we can do not necessarily everything we cannot do. I feel that this was the message Jay was giving us that we can do things and people with disabilities are children of God also sent here with a purpose and can contribute to a meaningful life.

Hugs and kisses

2009-11-25T13:33:00.001-08:00

In clinical this past week I may not have expressed feelings of warmth but I know they were shown unto me. As I entered my patient's room to check in on her she greeted me warmly and opened her arms to a hug and a kiss on the cheek. I was hesitant at first having known that her breathe was anything but pleasant first thing in the morning but I let go of my inhibitions and embraced her as well. This was a positive way to start the day and I remembered how important a simple human touch can be. In interacting with one of the nurses this week I received warmth and respect from her. When I came fully prepared to address an issue with her I had confidence in myself and discernment. In return she responded to me with respect and understanding. I noticed that she valued my input by looking me in the eye, taking the time to talk to me and giving me directions as what to do next. I felt that she trusted me with the action given me to do for my patient. I also had to receive some criticism this past week on some of my actions which was disheartening because I really was trying to do the right thing. I had to learn to accept the criticism gracefully and respect the person who gave it to me because I know it benefits me in the long run.
It is important to let go of our inhibitions we hold sometimes in ourselves. We can be a germ-phobic and should wear gloves at appropriate times but sometimes we have to let down the nursing barrier and just be there for our patients. They need to know that we can laugh with them and spend time getting to know them, not just what their chart says. They need to know that even though we feel a sense of urgency our tone does not reflect it. I found this to be a challenge in trying to get everything done but in remaining calm and mostly confident in my skills I was able to create a sense of warmth.

In future practice it is important to take the time and be with your patient. You may feel rushed or tired but be there when you are there. Your encounters with your patient will be brief and you only get that once chance in aiding them to heal. You have to let your guard down and not hide behind barriers especially if you are feeling insecure. You must be confident or else they will see right through you and not trust you in your care for them. It is important to remember that everyone is on the same team in trying to help the patients and each other. Criticism should be accepted in a non-offensive manner, learn from your mistakes. It is often through criticism that the most important lessons learned will forever be remembered.

Wit from Whit

2009-11-25T13:31:00.000-08:00

Our class had to watch this amazing film called "Wit". It is amazing, inspiring, and gives an inside look into what a patient often goes through while dealing with a certain illness in the hospital. I highly suggest you watch it but make sure to watch it with a box of tissues. I swear I have been brought to tears in more of my nursing classes than I ever have before in school! Here is what I learned from watching it:

As I watched the movie wit I was unprepared to say the least as to what the film was truly about and how it would affect me. It truly has affected me and the way I hope to act within my capacity of health care. In the first interaction in the film with Dr. Kelekian and Vivian I learned that it is important to really inform the patient of all possible treatments not just the one you want them to have. This is also important because sometimes a patient may not even know what questions they should be asking, giving all the information necessary can help them think it over and evaluate it for themselves. One should also not assume that because the exterior seems tough that they are, they really may not be especially if they are going at it alone as she was. That is what made me think more about the title of the film and what it meant. Usually wit is used in unsuspecting ways and it is a type of intellectual humor. Meaning that one has to dig deep beneath the disguise of words to what is really being said. I felt that in this film her wit is what kept it light at times despite her situation but underneath it all was really her screaming out for help.

The young Doctor in this film drove me insane and I wished at times that I could jump in to stop him! Unfortunately there were characteristics in him that I saw in myself as well. He did not seem confident or calm in his assessments, and he did not really listen to the patient. He was only seeking for answers he wanted to hear and that could be useful to his research. I learned from watching him that I need to be aware of the tendency to just treat the body and not the patient as a whole entity. I learned that is important to be confident in your practice, remember you are treating a patient not just a disease, and make them your number one priority. I have also learned that even though we have not experienced what our patient might be going through and taking care of them is our job, to remember that this is their life they are living everyday even when we are not there.

I was so grateful for the nurse Suzie and her compassionate nature in contrast with the pride of the others in the film. She really was the patient’s advocate and made sure she was well informed. I enjoyed how she was able to laugh at her mistakes and be a true caregiver to Vivian mostly by listening. This laughter, human touch, and listening ear were vital to her care because she was not only undergoing chemotherapy but also life therapy. Vivian had a lot of time to think and come to the realization that under it all it was humanity that matter and kindness that made the difference or meaning in life. I know that from watching this film I learned the importance of that fact and how precious life is, each should be treated with the utmost care.

Mounds of confidence or atleast muffins

2009-11-25T13:24:00.000-08:00

This post is of a past Journal entry from one of my nursing classes documenting my time at the nursing home. This one in particular is about introducing oneself to staff and patients. (Just for clarity these will be in the What? So what? Now what? format we have to do for class).

As I prepared for my first day of clinical feelings of excitement and anxiety surged through me. I needed an outlet to calm myself down and also somehow start memorizing the “I have confidence” song sung in “The Sound of Music” in a needed time for courage. In failing to find a copy of the film I opted for a more service oriented option, making muffins for the girls I would pick up in the morning for clinical. As I mixed in the required amounts of ingredients I mulled over some of the things I needed to remember for the next day, putting the stethoscope in the right way, check; ironed scrubs that hopefully no one will pull on because I am too short to find ones that actually fit, check; hand sanitizer because when all else fails I still know how to preform proper hand hygiene, check! How was I going to tackle my biggest fear of really interacting with the patients and staff? Remembering what I learned in communications lab, one check for priceless! I knew that just like the muffins I was making blending together just the right amount of politeness, professionalism, humor, and the skills I learned was going to either create a masterpiece of delicious blueberry muffins, I mean a positive experience in communicating with others, or a flat affect of meaningless words( or bland muffins). I reviewed in my head how to introduce myself to those I was reporting to versus those I would be taking care of the next day.
My first introduction of the day was to my CNA C. It did not quite go as planned, my name was called out as to whom I would be working with and I followed her with my buddy to the first patient's room. It was through out the rest of the day that we got to know each other but I felt from the get go she was just ready to get things done and move on with her day. She often went ahead with her normal routine without introducing us, which was good because then at least I could practice my skills with the patients I interacted with during care. I found that talking to the patient's about normal things helped them feel at ease and comfortable with the care we were giving them. I saw how C interacted with her patients and how she really knew them. She would joke around with them and know what to say to help them understand and cooperate. I was able to introduce myself to lots of patients some were very welcoming while others made little or no response. Most of the time the only thing I could get out was my name and that we would be helping them that day. Beyond that there usually was either no understanding of what I was doing there or they would start in to how their granddaughter's name was Whittles! During lunch I was able to help a woman eat her food who all the while I was talking to her said nothing but would laugh every once in a while. I found that in my particular environment people were friendly and carefree about how they interacted with each other. It really felt like a home, in the sense that everyone felt welcome and had their place of contribution. It was difficult to tell who were the nurses and the CNAs because everyone treated each other as equals.
I learned that regardless of educational status each person's expertise should be respected and treated as a valuable addition to the overall team. Just like each ingredient despite its quantity is needed for the overall product of making muffins. It is important to make yourself known regardless of circumstance. You are not there just to provide skilled hands but comfort and assurance to those whom you care for in the clinical setting. I hope in my own practice I will remember to introduce those students or aides which might be working with me to the patients. It was good practice for me to speak to the woman the whole time who would not respond because I feel that it helped remind me that regardless of the patient's circumstance they should always be informed. Just like no matter how many times I have made a Betty Crocker's muffin mix I still need the information of correct ingredients to make the desired product.

In the end the muffins were delicious and clinical was a success. I hope I will become more familiar with the facility, patients, and staff as I continue to introduce myself.